Do it for you might be the best advice I have ever received.
Most of the advice you get is geared toward doing something for other people. Work hard in school to please your teachers. Play hurt in sports to satisfy your coaches. Go to college to make your family proud. Stop smoking for your children. Lose weight for your wife. Stop drinking for your families sake. Get a better job to make more money and buy a bigger house for your wife and children and give more money to others.
Do this, do that, get into debt...all to please your parents, your wife, your kids, your school, your teachers, your coach, your religion, your government or your god.
It's as if what you want does not matter at all.
To "them" you are nothing. Just something to push around.
You need to tune out their garbage advice which is just "them" selfishly making demands on you.
You decide what you want to do to improve your life or even if you want to improve it at all.
We are fed a steady diet of the do it for someone else idea. It is constant and ever present.
It has to be. All propaganda has to be repeated over and over to have any effect.
Since we are constantly being told to do something for others, we unconsciously resist, not doing this, and have to be dragged by the ear to keep doing it.
We resist this idea, as we should. Do it for you or don't do it at all.
From Randy Gage
Read his work. You will get happier and more prosperous the more you can internalize doing everything for yourself. Be more selfish and be more happy.
This doesn't work. Often the reason we have terrible habits and poor health is having the kids in the first place.
I know you love them and want to do for them. I certainly love mine and do as much as I can for them.
But if you are being totally honest, most of you (and me) had kids before we could take care of ourselves.
Some of you
All these terrible choices are compounded when you have children who need everything from you. They need everything and they need it all the time...for a very long time.
Makes a lot of us reach for the cigarettes or the bottle, or like me, the donuts, to cope.
Think of it this way, if you make a $100K a year, have spent the last 15 years making that type of money, live in the house of your dreams, drive the car you have always wanted, travel widely and basically have done most of what you have wanted to the point you don't really have a bucket list because you have done everything, then taking care of one or two children will be quite easy.
You won't need to cope with the massive effort of raising children because you have made it.
Is This How You Are Preparing for a new baby
Oh, you don't have any of that?
Well then you will need to reach for some cheap coping mechanism. You see this every day don't you? Not so much of the drunks and smokers anymore. Smoking and drinking as a stress reliever has been steadily eliminated.
But there are tons of overly large parents using cheap food to cope with their own lost lives.
You have no time to exercise so you get totally out of shape.
You put up with enormous stress so you overeat to deal with that.
You spend all your money taking care of the kids, so you have none for yourself.
So going to the gym, eating right or spending money on your needs for your kids is the exact opposite of motivational factors.
You resent your own bad choices so you just add more bad choices to the mix by slowly killing yourself.
You have to do it for you.
You need a reason beyond your kids. What will you do when they are grown and don't need you anymore? Start preparing for that, because that will give you the desire to make changes.
The more unselfish you are the worse your life will be.
You give and give to others without really having that much to give. You give without having an excess capacity to do so.
You have to have a lot of whatever you want to give in order to give enough of it away to make an appreciable difference in other people's lives anyway.
Who helps more?
If you selfishly want a better body to attract more women and have a better sex life with more women, it is easier to motivate yourself to get to the gym.
If you think about going to the gym to just be able to work more to pass more of your money to your wife and kids, you won't.
If you think about going to the gym to live longer to spend more time with someone who makes your life miserable, you won't.
If you selfishly want to quite smoking so you have more money to buy more stuff you want you will.
If you think about stopping smoking for your kids, who cause you enormous stress you won't.
Selfishness is a good quality to have in spite of what you always hear.
To find the reason that it is so good you have to look deeper into what it really means.
It means that you matter. It means you are important. It means that you, as a person, have worth.
If you just think of it the opposite way you will see exactly how by not being selfish, lives are destroyed.
If you are unselfish then by logical reasoning you do not matter. You are not important and you have no worth.
Can you see how being unselfish is so ridiculous? It makes no sense. The only way it makes sense is for the most cunning and conniving selfish people to get massive amounts of the rest of us to believe that being unselfish is a virtue instead of a stupid way to think.
If you are unselfish you will stupidly
Can you start to see how being this way is so unhealthy? How it is really a word only meant to get you to do what is not good for you? You are being controlled.
When you call someone selfish you are really just using guilt to get the person to do what you want him to do.
Would you be proud of yourself for manipulating a friend to do something for you that hurts him? Maybe you aren't much of a friend.
I have suffered my entire length trying not to be selfish. I cannot pinpoint when I changed from being a selfish baby to a very unselfish person who put what I wanted aside and let others dictate my life.
The cure to a life of despair is to put the stupid ideas aside and think better of yourself. Do it for you.
You matter, just as much as anyone else. You are not here to take orders, be pushed around and sacrifice your life for others.
The idea that you are is just so wrong. Of course, we are continually fed this garbage on a continuous basis. You go to church and are made to feel guilt for something that may not have even happened 2000 years ago.
We are told we have to save the planet for the future and save energy for our grandchildren. As if our grandchildren are more important than we are. This talking about future generations is just a way to guilt you into giving up your power. If you feel bad about following your dreams and doing what you want to today, you will not squawk so loud about paying taxes and being overly regulated.
Yes, our grandchildren are important. But so are you.
The planet has been here for eons. It will be fine. The idea that you are doing something to hurt the planet is just stupid. Pollution hurts us more than the planet. When the planet has had enough of our polluting it will take care of it, and us, in it's own way. Do it for you. The planet will be fine.
If you want a good life and you want a good life for others, you need to do it for you.