It is impossible to be happy unless you accept yourself. Most reasonable people would agree with that statement.
But when you observe most people and listen to what they say, most do not accept themselves, dropping into a few main problem areas.
Many spend most of their time complaining about their situation without even trying to make corrections.
Or they severely criticize their past actions, beating themselves up mentally, further paralyzing their actions to make any positive corrections.
Let's start to get past this crazy way of thinking and enjoy the way we are.
Do what you love...at least in moderation
Let me explain.
You probably have some activities that you love to do that you do not do. You think life would only be so great if you could do just do them all the time. But since you can't do them all the time, you think, why bother at all.
Think of it this way.
I love to drink beer and hang out with my friends from high school and college. We drink a lot, joke around, talk smart, laugh and have a really good time. It can get really outrageously fun.
Would I like to do this all the time, every night? Do I do this this every night? Or even every weekend? Or even one night a month?
But I love it. Shouldn't I do this all the time, since I love it so much?
No. It's not good for me or them. I have other things to do. They have other things to do. I couldn't even do this every weekend when I was in my twenties, unmarried and with no kids. Trying to have that kind of fun every weekend would be too much for me.
But, can I do this a few times a year? Definitely. I love it in moderation.
Here's another example
I love to golf with friends. It's great fun and good exercise. It takes place in a beautiful setting. Some people would golf all the time.
I just do not want to do it every week all summer. A few times a summer is enough for me to enjoy the experience.
Example number three
I love to lift heavy weights. My lifting routine now is to lift really heavy and intensely. I can only handle a limited number of workouts like this. If I work out really hard I need quite a few days of no workouts.
I can only do this heavy workout two or three times a week. More than this and I get exhausted, hurt and sick.
I have to be careful.
Example number four
I love to eat a lot. I like big restaurant meals, going for seconds and thirds and the variety at buffet restaurants. If life was fair I could eat all I want and not gain any weight. But I can only eat a lot once in a great while. If I do this too often I get fatter than I should.
I think you get the idea that in order to accept myself I purposely cannot do the things I really love to do very often.
But that's OK.
I'm 52 years ago and I still like the same things I liked when I was 18.
I like to
Nothing has changed. Accept yourself and accept that you like the things you like.
Get it how you want it
Your life is too important to struggle to fit in how others want you to live.
Work on your life, your house, your desk, your whatever in enough detail and with enough concentration to get it how you want it.
I have my home set up how I want it.
I have my truck set up how I want it.
I have my office at work set up how I want it.
I have my bedroom, my office/relaxing chair area set up how I want it.
My life is too precious to suffer and struggle dealing with the areas that I spend most of my time not how I want them.
When I was married, nothing was how I wanted it. It was always how my wife wanted it and none of that was good for me.
I fit into her schedule. I fit into how she wanted things.
None of that worked for me.
From Danger and Play
My favorite accept yourself quote from that article -
You are enough and you have enough.
As I write this I am in the middle of doctoring some nerve damage I caused myself by lifting too much in the gym.
I was doing a set of squats. I was on the fourth rep of my second heavy set of 5 when the bar shifted up (or down) and the weights started to slide off. I quickly corrected to keep the weights from sliding all the way off and racked the bar right away. But I felt something really bad in my left shoulder.
I had foolishly not clamped the weights.
I also had tried a second set. When I get hurt it is usually never on the first work set. I do well on the first work set and then suffer on the others.
I think I need to accept my limitations and just focus on ONE only heavy work set.
I am in the middle of correcting some spinal neck problems by getting chiropractic adjustments. It seems to be helping.
There is no way for you to have a good life if you cannot get past complaining and criticizing. If you aren't happy with what you are doing - if you don't accept yourself, you will not have a happy life.A Happier Man › Resilience › Accept Yourself