How to Heal the Past

Can you heal the past...

Or...

Is whatever happened in your past dooming your future?

Getting over it, getting past it, through it and letting go of the past is critical to a happier now and a better future.

You don't have to let your past stagnate your present or cloud your future.

You can do things today...and tomorrow... based on living in the present and being hopeful for the future rather than wallowing in the past.

Heal the Past and Have a Great Life

You can heal the past. Where you are right now is a direct result of you moving toward what you want based largely on moving away from the elements of your past that you found most frustrating, most irritating and most terrible.

The circumstances and experiences you hated most as a young person will be what you most want to fix as you get older.

You heal the past by deliberately doing what you most like and just as deliberately not doing what you do not like.

I just recently listed out all the things I was dissatisfied with during my freshmen year of high school. Childhood and high school can be a traumatic time for some people.

It was that way for me.Much of it was good, but enough was bad.

If I had not made certain critical changes during my senior year, I would call my entire high school experience a waste. Thankfully I had enough personal growth during the end of my high school experience to not continue on the miserable path I was on.

The circumstances of that time irritated me enough for the rest of my life that I find myself thinking about them still.

I wanted to heal the past and put those days behind me and think of the present.

Instead of being consumed with grief and pain about your past, use that frustration to heal the past by using those frustration points as guides pointing you toward what you want most.

In other words, whatever you hate, do the opposite.  Your hate, frustration and irritation evaporates if you do the opposite.  You heal the past by doing differently.

Here are some of the negative situations I was in as a freshmen in high school

  • Getting bullied on the bus ride to school.
  • Wearing uncomfortably tight clothing.
  • Wearing ugly glasses.
  • My feet aching.
  • Playing basketball.
  • Being dirty and sweaty.
  • No female attention.
  • I had no money to buy things I wanted, like books.


I hated riding the bus to school every day.

There was a senior on the bus and he bullied me and gave me a hard time every single morning and every time he saw me at school. This guy ruined much of my freshmen year. His constant and continual ridicule just drove me mad.

Why would he have to say such things to me, I thought? I never had an unkind word toward anyone. I never did anything to him. It made no sense. I dreaded the morning bus rides. Whenever he saw me throughout the day he always had some terrible comment directed toward me. I was more thankful for his graduation than my own. I often think of the torment he put me through and how this type of bullying can just ruin a person.

i wore tight white underwear, tight, restrictive, too small jeans, tight shirts and a very tight athletic supporter

I was fat and large since I was a child. I have larger legs and butt and tend to a thick stomach. Finding large enough clothing for me was a real problem when I was young.

Even now it is difficult, but much easier than the old days. Even during the times I was leaner, I was still big. I have always struggled to find the correct sized pants.

I wore ugly glasses

I was ashamed of my looks on a consistent basis. I never felt good about how I looked. I could barely look at myself in the mirror. Those huge, thick, ugly glasses were a constant, daily reminder of how ugly I was.

My Feet Hurt

I wore shoes that did not give me any support. Especially during basketball and football.  Those demanding sports require really good shoes.  But I did not have that.

The football practice shoes gave no support whatsoever. My feet and lower legs ached as soon as practice started. Those shoes were made of canvas with thin rubber soles. The game day shoes were strong leather with thick soles. They were great but we had to wear the practice shoes all week to save the good shoes for the games.

I hated playing basketball

I played basketball and hated it. I am still upset for playing this sport when I absolutely hated it and had no ability to do well at all even though I played and practiced just as much as the other guys.

It was not that I was not athletic. I was good at football, just not basketball. My feet were always blistered. I sprained my ankles all the time. I never got in good enough shape to run up and down the floor that well. I never got good enough at the sport to ever enjoy it. I was not good at any aspect of the game. I could not even be a role player because I had no role. It was even embarrassing to wear the tiny, short uniforms of the day.

I was always dirty, sweaty and wet

I had to wear the same sweaty, smelly gym clothes all week at practices and for gym.

There were rarely towels at the school to dry off with after a shower. A bunch of guys would have to share one towel.

My parents did not have big towels at home to dry off after a shower. They were not long enough to wrap around my waist.

You may think this is not such a big deal, and I guess it wasn't. Wearing sweaty clothes or uncomfortable shoes or a lack of towels. But it just contributed to this overall lack of comfort and just a lack in general of anything resembling a comfortable life.

I had nothing going with girls

I did not go on dates. I did not have a girlfriend. I never kissed a girl until I was a junior in school. I hardly even talked to girls in high school. There were not even that many girls.  There were far fewer girls than guys in my class and only a very tiny number of cute ones who had no interest in me. 

I had no money

I loved to buy things for myself, as everyone does, but I had no money to do that.

I loved to read.  The few times we went to the mall I would spend all my time in the bookstore. But I had such little money that I rarely bought a book. The reading I did at the mall gave me some comfort, enjoyment and personal growth.


From Huffington Post and Adam Gilad

I am an Ex Ex

Adam makes the case for not considering. yourself an Ex anything.


I Did Heal The Past
The Worst Parts of My Past, I Don't Deal With Anymore

I have healed the past and am happy now

I Don't Get Bullied

I have a car. I decide where to go. I no longer deal with buses. You can heal the past with whatever tools and methods that help you have the type of life you want.

Cars, computers, cell phones and even clothes help a person live a better life.

I have not been bullied by a man since I have been a freshmen in high school.

I have been bullied my ex-wife, but that is another story.

I have become big, muscular, strong and able to take care of myself. I  have not feared anyone in all this time. I have actively worked on myself enough that I am the type of guy that people do not mess with. I choose where I go and what I do so I do not have to deal with idiots and bullies and anyone who would make my life less pleasant or do me harm.

You are not going to fix the bullies of the world. But you can avoid dealing with them, being near them and if you happen to be near them, you will not be a target because you are too strong to be bothered. They will choose someone weaker to push around. I know this is hard for the weaker person to hear. But this is the truth.

You can heal the past and rise up above bullying by getting bigger, stronger and tougher.

I never wear tight clothing

I carefully choose the clothes for me that look and feel the best.  I have zero desire to be uncomfortable.

I mostly wear contacts and have nice glasses

I wear contact lenses most of the time and am very happy with how I look. I no longer am embarrassed of my face.  I have nicer looking glasses as backup.

I am always buying shoes

I try to buy as good of shoes as I can and can afford. Being comfortable is what I am always striving for. I cannot stand the whining voices that say it is acceptable to continue to live in discomfort and misery.

I don't do things I hate

I no longer do things I don't like.  I learned from quitting basketball that once you stop doing things you cannot stand, your life gets better.

Life is too short and precious.  Heal the past and avoid doing things you hate to do.

I have plenty of good clothes and big towels

I wear fresh clothes now. I have not put on a sweaty t-shirt in 30 years. I will wear as many shirts as it takes in a day to stay comfortable. When I do physical work I just bring multiple shirts. I have learned the importance of having enough good clothes and doing laundry often enough that I never have a time when I do not have nice, clean clothes that I feel good in available.

I have plenty good, big towels now. I always have nice, big, dry towels available. I have learned that the good things in life do not have to be that expensive.

I have had lots of great experiences with girls

I have gone on lots of dates, had lots of sex, kissed lots of girls and even been married and co-created 2 wonderful children. When I go out now and if there are girls around, some will be interested in me even though I am in my 50's, balding and overweight. I do not feel ugly or undesirable anymore. I feel fine.

I buy lots of books and whatever else I want

Having enough to read and finding new things to read and having the time to read is not a problem for me anymore. Reading is what I love to do, so I do it.

  • I buy as many books as I want now.
  • I borrow books from the library.
  • I read all the time on the internet.
  • I make the time for it.
  • I cut out things so I have more time to read.
  • I set aside money to buy books.

Heal The Past - Final Thoughts

We are always told that discomfort, pain and misery is the state we should be in. I took that idea to heart as a young man. I thought it was noble to suffer, to live in pain and that living in misery was a state of life that just had to be lived through.

I reject all that stupid nonsense now as propaganda put out by the manipulators to keep us in our place. Well, I know my place now and it is not living in misery and lack.

My place is living exactly as I want to live, doing exactly what I want to do. That is what I am working toward. That is my prize. Tolerating poor conditions and dealing with bad things is not what I am going to continue to do.

As bad things occur, I work on ways to get those behind me. I heal the past simply.  It is so rewarding because it is simple. When things come up that I find particularly unpleasant or miserable, I find ways to eliminate that problem.

You can heal the past by deliberately doing the opposite of the painful events of your past.  Whatever you disliked the most, flip it to what you want the most.

There is no real reason to keep living a life of misery when there are so many options and ways to heal the past.

› Heal Your Past