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A Happier Man, Issue #21-- Raise Your Self Esteem
March 05, 2016
Raise Your Self Esteem
You can raise your self esteem. How you feel about yourself is the key to your life.
Go ahead and think deeply about your worst days, your biggest disappointments and your most miserable times.
When I do that it all points to my low self esteem causing the problem.
Staying in a bad job. Hanging around the wrong people. Dealing with toxic schoolmates. Staying with the wrong woman.
All these terrible things I did to myself.
Only by thinking I mattered...raising my self esteem...was I able to do what was right for me.
High esteem is you thinking highly enough of yourself that you do good things for you, avoid doing things that would harm you and avoid some things or some people who would you make you feel less. Why can't I have a good life...why can't you
But what really causes this?
A lot of it comes from stupidity, mild forms of tyranny or at least the negative comments of others.
If your parents beat you, yelled at you, or made your childhood a living hell or miserable in some way, that was not your fault. That was them. That is the tyranny of bad parents. The result is that your life is made less by their treatment of you. You just may not realize it for years or decades later.
If you were bullied by other kids, either siblings, neighbors, relatives, schoolmates or so-called friends that was them.
The cause of your being bullied was not you having low esteem, the cause was that they were bullying you. They were mean to you. They may have been bullied by their parents or someone else or some other reason. The reason only matters to them, not to you. The result is that you feel bad about life and yourself because of being pushed around or living in fear of others.
If as you were growing up you had issues of some kind that made you different than others, that was the cause of your low self esteem. For me, I was fat, needed glasses and braces. Even if people did not blatantly say negative things to me, I could look in the mirror and see my problems.
If your wife nags you, criticizes you, is never happy, snaps at you, finds fault with everything you do, yells at you and makes excessive demands, that is her, not you. Her negative behavior is not helping you... at all. This is the type of wife you have to leave. This is the type of person you have to get tough with. You cannot go through life being a pushover and letting people run roughshod over you.
You cannot wait for someone else to do something. A high self esteem is caused by you...your self...doing things for you.
You have to stick up for yourself. I think it should be obvious that the root cause of low self esteem is a result of your dealings with other people.
Once you realize this is so, you can move on from it.
The cure is to raise your self esteem.
I know this sounds too simple. Others may
say you need to go back and revisit all the old pain and hurt. Maybe, maybe not.
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How to Have an Easy Life
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