I Don't Hate December Anymore

I used to hate December.  It was a month I always wanted to be over. 

I had some really bad Decembers filled with trauma and misery.

Even when terrible things weren't happening there was always the pain of lack.  That pain was constant. 

Extra bills piling onto the piles of unpaid bills.  Late notices.   I could hardly take care of myself and normal living and now I had so many people to buy Christmas gifts for and so little money.

I Know Some of You Will Relate to Why I Hate December

I Was Broke Most of the Time

The year we were so broke my wife just bought a lot of those cheap type boxed games instead of what our little children were asking for.  I can still remember their little mouths quivering and their eyes bravely fighting back tears of disappointment as they opened their gifts and received nothing they had asked for.

Terrible Weather

One year it was so cold in November that our heating bill was 5 times normal and I could not pay and have money for Christmas.  I delayed paying the heating bill all winter only counting on the laws in northern climates that do not allow the energy companies to shut off power in the winter.  That huge bill impacted me the rest of the year.

Many years the miserable snowy weather made getting to or returning from a  Christmas gathering a terrifying ordeal in our old van with bald tires.

The exhaustion of constantly cleaning up the winter filth dragged into the house.

Major Health Problems

The year our son was born prematurely in mid-December and had to spend 2 weeks in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at the hospital.  Then we happily brought him home for Christmas. 

All my wife's family gathered at our place for the Christmas celebration and it was good with the new baby to pass around and hold.  But late that night I found my wife on the bathroom floor in a pool of her own blood.  I thought for sure she was a goner as I called 911 thinking I was going to have to raise a baby on my own.

She spent a week in the hospital in terrible pain recovering from the massive hemorrhaging and complications due to childbirth. 

Another year my wife's sister was on bed rest causing her family all kinds of stress.

One year my young son was ill at the Christmas gathering and spent hours crying and screaming in pain as I heard all the cockamamie schemes spewed out to stop his screaming.  In all the stress, I finally saw that I had not given him nearly enough pain medication.

My Wife's Verbal Abuse Escalated in December

This used to be my life

The year after we bought a huge, pre-lighted, expensive Christmas tree.  The year before it was easy.  Put the tree up and all the lights worked.  The next year was misery because the lights did not work.  We had to go through hundreds of lights, while they were on the tree with my wife screaming at me the whole time as if the lights not working were my fault.

It was hours of misery and we never did find the bad lights.  We ended up just putting more lights on the damn thing.

Every year there was the misery and chaos my wife caused with her excessive Christmas buying and stress of preparing.

December was extremely stressful to my wife and she lashed out at me with extreme verbal abuse.

She tried so hard to make it good.  But it was always bad.  So much buying.  So much stress.  So much screaming at me.  So much exhaustion trying to do it all.

Goddamn December.


If You Are Struggling With Verbal Abuse from Your Wife

Verbal Abuse of Men Website

You will not be happy if you are living with a verbally abusive woman. If this is your life, you will have to leave her.  You won't just hate December, you will hate your life.


The In-Laws

The painfully slow opening of gifts at her families Christmas gatherings.  The seconds ticked by like hours as I just wanted to end it and go home.

The pain and bitterness my wife was in on the drive home from the Christmas gathering after spending hundreds of dollars that I did not have and hundreds of hours Christmas shopping for her family and they not showing any appreciation for her efforts.  Just belittling her, questioning her judgement, demanding she return all the gifts.

Problems with My Ex

Even after I left her, I still had problems.

A year or two after the divorce, when my ex-wife, was in the deepest throes of her paranoid schizophrenia, I had her over for a short Christmas Eve celebration with our kids. 

But when the night was over and I asked her leave she got extremely belligerent refusing to go.  I had to drag her physically down the stairs and throw her out into the snowy street on Christmas Eve.

This was by far the worst Christmas for me.

Pressure at my last job

I can remember working like a fiend at my old job right before our Christmas party at work.  Sometimes even working right through the party because of some big deadline.

I Know A Lot of You Hate December

So I've been there, down, very far down.  I hated December with a passion.

My heart aches thinking of these miserable times.  Lack, frustration and pain.  I had good reason to hate December.  Every bad thing in my life seemed to manifest at its worst.

  • Lack, humiliation, pain, misery.
  •  Extra end of year bills like memberships, property taxes, businesses trying to close their end of year books.
  • Spending all kinds of time doing things you don't want to do.
  • Spending all kinds of money buying things for people you don't really like who will not appreciate it.
  • Getting yourself farther and farther into debt.
  • Spending excessive money on stupid, non-essential Christmas things rather than your actual needs.
  • Massive stress of people trying to do it all perfectly.

All the problems in your life get magnified into this one month span of pain.

But I Don't Hate December Anymore
I have put the bad things behind me

I don't hate December now. 

I do everything differently.  I have healed.

  • I am happily divorced and do not buy presents for the in-laws.
  • I spend Christmas with my family with a nice, short, modest gift exchange.
  • I give my kids what they want.
  • I have decisively gotten my ex-wife out of my life so I don't have to deal with her and her massive problems anymore.
  • By dealing with her decisively, she was forced to get help and now she is in much better shape.
  • I do not fear her or what she will do anymore.
  • I have complete control of all my money and am enjoying the abundance.
  • I feel no guilt to decorate for Christmas excessively, buy modest gifts, get involved in extra activities or go to Christmas type things.
  • I do exactly what I want.
  • I have a lot of vacation time at my job and I save a lot of it so I can take more than half of December off.  With 4 paid holidays, I get more than 2 weeks off for a little more than one week of vacation.
  • Everyone slows down in December where I work so there is not the frenzy of excessively hard work.
  • I have my big, beautiful, roomy, 4 wheel drive truck, stocked with winter emergency equipment making winter a breeze.
  • It is December 12th as I write this and I still have a lot of money in my checking account.  All my bills are paid.  I have purchased a large share of the Christmas gifts I am giving already...in cash.

Let Your Modest Tree Decorated How You Like Help to Heal You

You don't have to spend a lot of money on Christmas trees and decorations.

You don't have to spend a lot of time either.

I hate spending excessive money for anything.  And I really hate spending excessive time doing things I would rather not do.

So I don't.

I have a modest tree that was given to me with a small number of decorations that were given to me too.

I spend a little time putting it up, stringing the lights and decorating it.  Not days, just a few hours.

Your Christmas Tree can heal you. You won't hate December as you enjoy staring at your beautiful tree.

I love the tree because staring at it in the early morning or evening hours heals me.  My life has turned for the better and just looking at the tree helps me to feel even better.

You Can Love December Too

This is your life.  If you hate December it is a sign of major problems in your life that you need to work your way out of.

Whatever frustrations you are experiencing, just use that pain to guide you.

When you fix the worst problems your life falls into place.

This Used to Be My Hate December Anthem

Now it is just a reminder of how far I have come.

"If We Make It Through December" Lyrics

If we make it through December
Everything's gonna be all right I know
It's the coldest time of winter
And I shiver when I see the falling snow

If we make it through December
Got plans to be in a warmer town come summer time
Maybe even California
If we make it through December we'll be fine

Got laid off down at the factory
And there time is not the greatest in the world
Heaven knows I been workin' hard
I wanted Christmas to be right for daddy's girl
Now I don't mean to hate December
It's meant to be the happy time of year
And my little girl don't understand
Why daddy can't afford no Christmas gift

If we make it through December
Everything's gonna be alright I know
It's the coldest time of winter
And I shiver when I see the falling snow

› Hate December

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