Issue # 52

Are You Worth It

Are you worth it?

That is the most important question you will ever ask yourself.

I know for much of my life I answered... no.

When I kept going out for basketball in grade school and high school even though I hated it.

The pain of sprained ankles. The embarrassment of never being very good. The humiliation of being a poor basketball athlete even though I was a good football athlete. Not ever enjoying it. Only looking forward to it being over.

In spite of everything pointing toward quitting something not good for me, I did not quit. I did not think I was worth it.

Until I did quit basketball and my life improved.

When I kept going back to the same old job.

Even though I had been laid off multiple times. Had my health insurance premiums skyrocket. My pay cut. Suffered multiple indignities. Experienced excessive criticism. Suffered excessive pressure. Had a good share of boredom,.

In spite of this job not being good for me anymore, I just kept going back. I did not think I was worth it.

Until I did get get a better job, quit the old job and my life improved.

When my wife kept verbally abusing me for years, I did not think I was worth it.

I listened to her abuse and internalized it. I coped with junk food binges I tried to to appease her. I was depressed, At times, I was suicidal.

I stayed with her years after it started to go bad. I did not think I was worth it.