Are You Worth It

Are you worth it?

That is the most important question you will ever ask yourself.

I know for much of my life I answered... no.

When I kept going out for basketball in grade school and high school even though I hated it. 

  • The pain of sprained ankles. 
  • The embarrassment of never being very good. 
  • The humiliation of being a poor basketball athlete even though I was a good football athlete.  
  • Not ever enjoying it.
  • Only looking forward to it being over.

In spite of everything pointing toward quitting something not good for me, I did not quit.  I did not think I was worth it.

Until I did quit basketball and my life improved.

When I kept going back to the same old job.

  • Even though I had been laid off multiple times.
  • Had my health insurance premiums skyrocket.
  • My pay cut.
  • Suffered multiple indignities.
  • Experienced excessive criticism.
  • Suffered excessive pressure.
  • Had a good share of boredom,.

In spite of this job not being good for me anymore, I just kept going back.  I did not think I was worth it.

Until I did get get a better job, quit the old job and my life improved.

When my wife kept verbally abusing me for years, I did not think I was worth it. 

  • I listened to her abuse and internalized it. 
  • I coped with junk food binges
  • I tried to to appease her. 
  • I was depressed,
  • At times, I was suicidal.

I stayed with her years after it started to go bad.  I did not think I was worth it.

Until I did leave her and my life improved.

Are You Worth It
Now I Think I Am

I keep quitting what is not good for me and focus on what is.

I quit basketball in my senior year of high school and salvaged my high school experience.  Instead of pain and embarrassment, I had fun, socialization and adventure.

I left my verbally abusive wife and have put my life back together.  Instead of suffering as an extremely hen-pecked beaten down man, continually berated and questioned, I have a fantastic life doing what I want nearly on a continuous basis.

I quit a bad job and am happily involved in the best job of my life.  Instead of dreading Fridays and the layoff notice, I love Fridays because I will be coming back on Monday for another exciting work week.

I keep on doing what I know is best for me.  At times, I have to do things that other people don't want me to do.  At times, I do things without telling anyone what I am doing or why, because I know what I need to do and do not want to bother explaining myself.

I have had to keep my head down and plow forward.

I have had to quit a lot of things.

I have had to step outside of my comfort zone so many times.

I push myself in the gym, lifting heavier, doing another rep, another set and another day a week.

I continually have to remind myself to not eat something bad for me.

I push myself to go out in the evening and talk to people.

I spend money on myself when in the past, I would have spent it on others.

I do for me what no one else will do for me.

And that is as it should be.

You are not entitled to anything.  But you can enjoy a fantastic life if you focus on your life.  Not politics.  Not sports. Not entertainment.  Not your neighbors.  Not anyone but you.

Me on top of mountain in Wyoming on the best trip of my life

If You Are Worth It You Will Keep Moving Toward Your Ideal Life Even if it is Hard

It is not easy to break out of the less than ideal circumstances you find yourself in.  It takes a lot of effort.  It takes you thinking you matter.  It takes focus on your ideal life in spite of the obstacles others put in front of you.

I want you to be happy but I cannot give you happiness.  No one can.  Happiness and a  better life for you is something you have to do for yourself.

Ask yourself...are you worth it and answer YES.


From Danger and Play

You are Not Entitled to Happiness

My favorite quote from that article -

Accept that you are not entitled to happiness. Accept that if you want to be happy, you must figure out what makes you happy. Make changes.


Are You Worth It
Final Thoughts

The good news is that many people (including me) have provided you a map, a blueprint, a way of thinking to push you toward your ideal life.

I wrote most of this on an early on a Friday morning in a beautiful hotel room in Las Vegas.  My window is looking out at the magnificent hotels on the strip.  I have been drinking delicious coffee all morning preparing for a men's conference.

I am worth it to spend the money on the conference, the flight and the hotel.

Yes, all this is expensive. But my happiness is the most important thing to me.  And going to a conference like this is improving my life and my happiness.

Traveling across the country to a place I have never been is making me happy. 

Taking vacation time and spending money on me is making me happy.

What about you?  Are you worth it?

› Are You Worth It

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