The 3 Step System
to Become A Happier Man

There is a 3 step system to become a happier man.

The 3 Steps

  1. Get Your Mind Right
  2. Take Action
  3. Rest, Heal, Recharge, Grow

The system is extremely effective, if you use it and use it in the correct order. 

Once you fully understand the system and use it consistently, it works remarkably well.

I used the 3 step system both unconsciously and consciously over the years to make massive positive changes in my life to get to the happier man state I now enjoy.

But I was not always a happier man.  I not only had periods of stagnation, anxiety and frustration with very little going right, I had times of extreme misery pushing my thoughts to suicide and worse.

My Worst Problems

  • I suffered for years under the thumb of a verbally abusive wife.
  • When I left her, I left the kids with her to be mistreated by their mother.
  • I was in a job hit extremely hard during the terrible cuts, huge health insurance premiums and layoffs.
  • My ex-wife created massive problems in my life even after I left her. 
  • My finances have been seriously out of control for years.
  • My weight ballooned to well over 300 pounds.
  • Growing up I was fat, painfully shy and ugly, needing glasses and braces.
  • For years I rarely had any attention from women.
  • My teeth needed serious attention after years of neglect.
  • My testosterone was less than 300.

Much of my life was not good.  I was far from happy.  I have nightmares of lying on my death bed trying to force myself to block out the horrible memories.

I don't want you to suffer like I did. 

I want you to experience a fantastic life, crafted by you for maximum happiness enjoying life the way I do now.

When I reflect on my massive problems, they were caused by not using the 3 step system. 

I spent very little time getting my mind right.  I was overly busy doing things I did not want to do and getting severely criticized in the process. 

I was taking massive action in the wrong direction, doing the wrong things that made my sub-par life even more difficult.  Much of these wrong actions were not even chosen by me.  I just rolled with the poor judgement of others.

I certainly took care of myself very poorly.  Overeating junk food, sleeping little, eating very little meat, avoiding the sun, never exercising, neglecting my teeth, never having fun, avoiding needed doctoring and generally running myself into an early grave.

But no more of that ridiculous living style for me. That stupid way of living does not have to be your reality anymore either.

Constantly remind yourself to Use the 3 Step System

  1. Get Your Mind Right, First
  2. Take Action, Second
  3. Rest, Heal, Recharge, Grow, Third

After a lifetime of not using the 3 step system, it will seem backward. You will want to jump to step 2, taking action.  You will want to skip step 3, self-care, continually going back to step 2, taking more action.

Taking actions in the wrong direction will set you back years, decades, maybe forever.  The affects of a bad decision like continual overeating, marriage, too many children, staying in a poor career choice, drug use, or any reckless behavior will last years. 

Correcting big mistakes is not just a quick do-over.  That only works if you correct it immediately or the mistake is not too large.

Usually the correction is painfully long process that will test your ability to endure.

We are mistakenly and constantly told to take action and do something.  So we do.  We take action, doing what we're told.  Doing what other people do.  Following along, taking orders.

But this is utterly wrong. 

You need to take action only after determining what the correct action is after you fully get your mind right.  Don't get pushed by others to act.

Other Problems

When you search for answers, there are plenty of them.  But they are needlessly complicated.  12 steps to improve your life.  100 things to do this year.  How to model superstars.  Buy this, buy that, do this, do that.

I hate needless complication.

Much of the typical self-improvement world is set up with an overemphasis on either thinking or action. 

The problem with thinking is a person will get so overwhelmed with thinking, that they get needlessly sidetracked worrying about things that have nothing to do with them or making improvements in their life.

Thinking is difficult.  Not everything can be broken down into simple, easily done, action steps.

The other self-improvement track is to take constant action.

Constant action in the wrong direction or doing the wrong thing is the easiest way to totally screw up your life, sometimes beyond repair.  Taking the wrong action is guaranteed to make your life worse.  But everyone does it.

This is why we are pushed into action so hard.  It's best for people at the top for most of us to be wallowing with a poor life with no energy for questioning.

I've got a mild case of conspiracy theory.

But don't let "them" get you down.  Even if the entire weight of the world is stacked against you, you can sidestep all the madness and have a very happy, successful life.

Another problem is some will have almost zero attention to self-care.

Is That Method Effective?

  • Are you unhappy?
  • Are you anxious?
  • Are you depressed?
  • Are you broke?
  • Are you living wrong?

If that method was effective for you, why would you be here searching for answers?

Why would you be unhappy?

Why would you be anxious?

You have enormous power to change your life for the better by a combination of continually and persistently getting your mind right thinking about what you want and highly of yourself.

Then, expending as much effort as necessary taking action. 

After this effort, you need time to rest, heal and recharge.  This is the step where you grow.

The 3 Step System to Become A Happier Man Explained Video

Happier Man 3 Step System
Step 1 -Get Your Mind Right

This is the thinking and planning step.

Do this first.

Spend as much time and energy as necessary focusing on your life.  This is especially critical when you think you need to take massive action to correct a mistake or make a major improvement.

How to approach this step

  • Use a paper and pen and write. 
  • Think and focus. 
  • Create affirmations. 
  • Develop lists and plans. 

This step may take a very long time the more difficult the situation is you need to correct or improve.  But it is time well spent. 

It is critical that you do this step first.

Some of My Favorite Resources to Get My Mind Right



Examples of Getting Your Mind Right

  • The hours you spend reading informative articles, listening to uplifting messages and watching inspirational videos.  
  • Quiet time you spend with a pen and paper writing down your thoughts.
  • Solitary walks or drives where your mind wanders and ideas flow.
  • Carefully chosen affirmations that you repeat daily or more often.
  • Believing that you deserve a great life and that you are powerful enough to get it.

Questions to Ask Yourself

  • What makes me happy?
  • What makes me unhappy?
  • What do I like to do?
  • What did I used to do, that I enjoyed, that I don't do now?
  • Is there anything I need to stop doing?
  • Is there anyone I need to cut out of my life?

Situations That Make Getting Your Mind Right Very Difficult

  • Being harshly criticized by a demanding person in your life.
  • Being so overly busy, stressed and exhausted that you never have the time to focus on your life.
  • Working extremely long hours.
  • Working a job you are not good at.
  • Working a stressful job.
  • Keeping busy on trivial matters.
  • Worrying about what others are doing.
  • Waiting for someone else to do something.

Once your mind is right, the action to take will be clear.  If the action is not clear, your mind is not right yet.  Keeping thinking.

You want to get to a state where you just know what to do.

I will caution you that once you know what the action needs to be, it may not be easy.  If your life is a mess, the action will be very difficult and demanding.

Some guidance and teachers tend to overemphasize step 1 -thinking.  Saying to just think and the good things will manifest.

Thinking is critical.  But overthinking will not get you the results you desire. 

You need the next step.

Happier Man 3 Step System
Step 2 - Take Action

Correct action will bring you the results you want.  Action is critical.  But it is the second step.  So many men start taking actions before thinking and planning.

Without getting your mind right by thinking and planning, your actions will be may be in the wrong place and doing the wrong things.

Then you will have to re-do all the actions you took. 

It is exhausting.

So make sure your mind is right.

The action may be minor, or you may need to take massive action that requires enormous time, effort and energy on your part. 

Potentially it may require money and calling on assistance from others. Take action after you determine what the correct action is from step 1.

Examples of Taking Major Action

  • Stopping smoking
  • Losing weight
  • Getting in shape
  • Going to college
  • Getting a job
  • Starting a business
  • Leaving a marriage
  • Having a child
  • Caring for an aging parent

Examples of Normal Actions

  • Working your job
  • Doing your chores
  • Running your errands
  • Scheduling appointments
  • Making a date
  • Hosting a party
  • Studying something new

Action is critical, but only correct action moves you towards your happier life.  Often we take excessive action for others and suffer the consequences.  You might over eat junk food to stay alert for long hours at a stressful job.  Or spend a lot of money you don’t have trying to please a demanding spouse.

Mainstream society puts the focus on step 2, taking action. Take action, then more action without any mental effort focused on getting your mind right so you only need to take the correct action once you know what it should be.

An overemphasis on action gets you into all kinds of trouble.  It creates a lack of time for the critical self-care in step 3.  Some of you have an almost zero emphasis on the critical Part 3 element of resting, healing, recharging and growing.

Your life will get screwed up by taking wrong, enormously energy draining, life altering, and expensive actions.  You will need to take even more action to try to undo the previous action.  Some of these actions may be impossible to fully undo and recover from.

Your mistakes are a result of you taking a wrong or misguided action.

With all the action you are taking, you don't have any time to take care of yourself.  You get rundown, sick, hurt, weak, fat, pale and generally not feeling well.  All this requires even more massive action to correct.

You need the next step, self-care.

Happier Man 3 Step System
Step 3 - Rest, Heal, Recharge, Grow

When you expend energy taking action in step 2, you will need restful healing time afterward. 

If the action was minor, it may not take much time.  However, if the action was massive, you may need a lot of time to heal and recharge. 

You will grow and develop in this stage.

Examples of Resting, Healing, Recharging and Growing

  • Taking time to relax each day
  • Sleeping properly each night
  • Eating nutritious food and supplementing as necessary
  • Avoiding stressful situations
  • Seeing doctors and dentists when needed
  • Minimizing contact with toxic people

The growth is manifested in the positive changes in your life.  For me, I went from a verbally abused, belittled, beaten and broke man to being in full control of my life and becoming a happier man.

But you don’t want to get stuck in this stage either, just relaxing your life away resting.  You need to work the 3 step system and circle back to step 1 to work on the next item in your life.  Avoid stagnating in step 3. Spending all your time in step 3 is just basically zoning out with no opportunity to grow.

Step 3 is the deserved reward for the mental work in step 1 and taking the correct actions in step 2.  Until you go through the previous 2 steps, you have nothing to heal or recharge from and no reason to grow.

The Happier Man 3 Step System Wrap Up
The Steps Are Interrelated

The 3 step system is not done in a vacuum.  Sometimes it will seem like you are jumping steps a bit.  But thinking takes a lot of energy.  You may need to do some heavy duty thinking and then go to step 3 to rest. 

Heavy duty thinking can be taxing, it is a form of action.

If you take a step back and study successful, happy, abundant people, you'll find they use this system naturally.  It may seem all they do is take action.  But underlying the action, their minds are right and they take plenty of time for self-care.

The 3 step system is a lifelong pursuit to become a happier man.  Each step, in the correct order is needed.  You can use this system over and over again each time you need or want to make an improvement in your life. 

Not using the 3 step system in the correct order is where you go wrong. 

You May Also Like

› 3 Step System

The only way I could become the happier man I am today was by leaving my wife.  You might be in the same situation I was in.  I suggest you take a look at my book - Leave Your Wife & Become a Happier Man with the 3 Step System.

Share a Comment About This Topic.

Do you have a comment about this or something to add? Share it!

[ ? ]

Author Information (optional)

To receive credit as the author, enter your information below.

(first or full name)

(e.g., City, State, Country)

Submit Your Contribution

  •  submission guidelines.

(You can preview and edit on the next page)