How to Be Happy and Free

I wish I knew how easy it was to be happy and free when I was younger. 

I can remember hearing all kinds of foolishness like

  • The US is the freest country on earth.
  • It is not possible to be totally free.
  • You can't have happiness and freedom at the same time.
  • Being happy is not important.
  • That freedom is not really that good.
  • Unless we are all free, no one is free.
  • And that we need someone else to grant us our freedom.

But is this really true?  Are we doomed to a life of misery and chains?

I felt that way at times.  And I heard things like this all the time on TV and talk radio, in school and at church.

But anything you have to be told over and over again as being right, good and correct is not.  It's propaganda.  Recognize it as such and you can have the type of life you desire.

Deep down you know that your happiness is the most important value or quality or emotion you can have. 

You also know deep down that being free will help you get to that ultimate happy state.

You Can Be Happy and Free by Concentrating on Yourself

Simple types of freedom are yours for the taking.  If you wait until someone else gives you freedom you aren't going to have it.

I spend a lot of time reading the freedom oriented websites and blogs. I am fascinated and irritated when reading the mountains of evidence of massive cover- ups, corruption, evil and taking away our rights and freedoms.

I usually start each day with and then branch out from there.

I used to get enraged over all this.  I would rant and rave a bit to my kids, worry over the state of the world, imagining how the power mad bullies of the planet are plotting to control every person on earth.  

But I realized that there is very little I can do to fight a gigantic system.

I don't have to

There is no way to deal with this problem on a massive scale.

So I don’t.  I Control What I Can Control

These are things I can control.  I can focus on ways of being happy and free and forget about other people and hoping “someone else”  will do something.

“They” cannot do much for me, or  you.  Only you can do a lot for you.

"They" also cannot do that much to me, or you.  You know what will cause "them" to come after you.  So don't do those things.

The principles Harry Brown talked about in his book, "How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World" 40 years ago still work today.  Maybe not as well in some ways, but better in others.

There are things I can do for myself that serve to provide me with whatever freedoms I can.

The best way to be free is to eliminate or minimize circumstances that limit or eliminate your own freedom.  These aren't things that the government or other powerful forces are coercing you into.  You do these things and you become less and less free and more and more unhappy.

Control your actions to improve your life.  Make your own choices.

Live as you want to live.  You can be a happier redneck or not.

Pick and choose the bad ideas from the good ones.

Happy and Free From Winston Wu, Happier Abroad

No Marriage, Children, Mortgages or Jobs

I tend to agree with him on this.  These are all things you do to yourself to restrict your freedom and happiness.

What to Avoid or Minimize To Be Happy and Free

Getting married

I was married and although I loved my wife at the time and thought it was the thing to do, in the end this was a really stupid thing I did to myself that is hurting me to this day. Getting divorced is very expensive and government is involved in restricting you at every turn. If you don't pay the child support and alimony you will be jailed.

All the bills, properties and stuff you accumulated together will take months, and maybe years to untangle.

All because you got married and enmeshed yourself with another adult.  Being forced to pay for their problems, their debts and all the while stuffing down your own desires.

Even if you have a somewhat OK relationship, society has made it difficult for a man to have much control in his marriage.  Your life will not be your own.  You will always have to be "dealing" with various types of drama.

Joining the military

What kind of a job is it that does not allow you to quit without getting their permission? What kind of a job is it that you have a 75 % chance of something bad happening to you? What kind of a job is it where your job description is being told who to kill? What kind of a job is it that you are on call 24/7?

Not a good job no matter how much we are told to support the troops.  At the end of the day, being in the military sucks at all levels.


It seems this is just a way for us to practice lining up, dividing us into mindless herds and pretending that our vote matters.

Every election another lineup of buffoons and bullies is paraded out and we are supposed to pick the prettiest or toughest or the whatever-est and all our problems will be solved.

Getting involved in groups and activities

These do not provide you any real benefits. I have been in groups, clubs and sports where I counted the seconds until they were over. Where I could not wait for the event to be done. Where I became physically ill thinking about the event.  How can that type of thing be called freedom?

Be very careful with who and how you spend your precious spare time.  Choose wrong and your life will not be your own and you will have no time for yourself.

Staying in bad jobs

Let's list a few qualities of bad jobs:

  • The vast majority of the time you are bored out of your mind. 
  • You don't make enough to have a decent life. 
  • The work you do is harmful to yourself or others. 
  • The entire industry is dying. 
  • You work too many hours a day. 
  • You do not have any time off. 
  • The benefits are poor.

You may have to keep changing jobs, changing careers, working for yourself until you are happy.  Then be ready to do it all over again when circumstances change.

Having Kids

I love my 2 kids dearly, take care of them to the best of my ability, consciously don't do a lot of things that I want to do but might potentially hurt them, spend a lot of money on them and only want the best for them.

My desire to see them through their childhoods and teenage years override my desire for certain fun things.

So they are impacting my freedom and happiness.

It's just that not doing as much as I can for them would cause me tremendous unhappiness.

Having Too Many Kids

One child is very easy to care for compared to more.  Two is fine if there is a gap between their births that allow you to recover from the pain and exhaustion of caring for babies.

Three is borderline giving you no life and more than three you will have a life of misery.

When you talk about such things to people they look at you like you are crazy. They think that you should just buck up and take it. They will say things like others have it worse or it is only 8 hours a day or just think what I went through.

You will need to keep these ideas to yourself or be ready to face a mountain of ridicule.

A Few More Easy Simple Freedom Steps To Avoid Problems That Limit Your Happiness

  • Orient your computer at the office so that the back of the computer is facing others. People will not see what you are doing on the computer. Your usage can be tracked, but if no one notices what you are looking at, they will have no reason to check up on you.
  • Limit your private conversations at work to the bare minimum.
  • Do not tell too many people your thoughts. Remain mysterious.
  • Keep your head down and get your work done.  The better you are at you job, the less likely you will be laid off and suffer the loss of freedom from the loss of an income.
  • Avoid the police. 

You don’t need anyone else to do anything.  You can be happy and free, just take it.

How to Be Happy and Free Even Though There Are Wolves to deal With

There is the undercurrent of fear always simmering below the surface.  The fear of loss, the fear of death, the fear of sickness...the fear of bad people.

We feel the fear and think black and white, wolf or sheep.  Kill or be killed.

That type of thinking is so limited.  You cannot be happy and free living in fear.

Man as wolf or sheep is limited thinking.  I don't consider myself a wolf or a sheep.  Both are animals, and I consider humans to be more than animals, or at least the most intelligent of the animals.

From Robert Ringer

Is Man Wolf or Sheep

You need to keep this in mind in your desire to be free and happy.  The wolves are always out there, ready to tear you down and the sheep are there to obey the wolves.  The sheep have no way to fight against the wolves and won't help you.

Wolves love to eat sheep. Of course humans bred the sheep to be timid and easy to kill not happy and free.

Wolves have evolved along their own track.  We haven't been able to change their evolutionary instincts.

Sheep, on the other hand, have been bred by us to be extremely timid and easy to care for and easy to kill. 

The sheep need us to care for them.  The wolves do not.

An Alternate Way to Think About The Wolf Versus Sheep Analogy

You can be a proud, majestic sheep living your life to the fullest

Humans aren't sheep or wolves.  Quit thinking that way and your life improves.  You don't have those same types of limits on what you can and cannot do.  And you don't have to look at others with fear...that they are the wolf...or with disdain...that they are sheep.

You can just live a life of simple freedom, doing what is right for you, do whatever it takes, being happy and free and living as you want.

I may be a sheep at times

  • Going to work on time, doing my job. 
  • Not causing problems.
  • Being friendly and easy going.
  • Taking care of my responsibilities.
  • Blending in when it is appropriate to do so.

I may be a wolf at times

  • Selfishly going after what I want.
  • Stepping on toes.
  • Telling people what they need to do.
  • Thinking for myself.
  • Caring about my life.
  • Only taking care of the people closet to me.
  • Dealing with my ex-wife.
  • Ignoring others who bother me.
  • Concentrating on my desire to be happy and free.

Yes, the big wolves at the top do seem to go out of their way to push the sheep around.  The sheep seem to not notice they are being pushed around, or not care about being happy and free.

But not caring is usually caused by exhaustion, ignorance, overwork, or being over committed.

Yes, sometimes the wolves kill the sheep.  Telling the other sheep that it was for his own good.

Most of the sheep want to believe that the wolves killing the sheep is a good thing.  After all, the wolf said so and at least the wolf did not kill me.

There is this constant theme since the beginning of time

  • Rulers are the wolves. 
  • The rest of us are sheep. 
  • We...the sheep...have to obey the wolves...the rulers.
  • That is gods will. 
  • That is the order of things. 
  • That is how it MUST be.

Is that what you believe?

Do you believe that the rulers should be ruling us, pushing us around, killing us if we get out of line?

Is it wolves versus sheep?

Or are we not wolves and sheep, just ALL humans and we don't need rulers?

Don't we ALL want to be happy and free?  Not just the wolves.

How you view this order is how your life will be shaped.

If you believe in this order you will never be happy and free, only exhausted as the wolf continually trying to get your way and push the sheep around or the sheep being pushed around living in fear.

But my desire to be happy and free goes beyond simple ideas of one or the other.  I don't see wolves and sheep.  I don't see black and white or even shades of gray.  I see what I want to see.

You May Also Like:

› Happy and Free

The only way I could become the happier man I am today was by leaving my wife.  You might be in the same situation I was in.  I suggest you take a look at my book - Leave Your Wife & Become a Happier Man with the 3 Step System.

Share a Comment About This Topic.

Do you have a comment about this or something to add? Share it!

[ ? ]

Author Information (optional)

To receive credit as the author, enter your information below.

(first or full name)

(e.g., City, State, Country)

Submit Your Contribution

  •  submission guidelines.

(You can preview and edit on the next page)