Start to create your ideal life. You only have one, you know. If anything is not right in your life, start making whatever changes are necessary. Waiting will not make it easier.
What do you want to stop doing? Who do you want to stop dealing with? What makes your life hard? What causes the most anxiety? What do you want to avoid? What do you absolutely hate?
What do you want to start adding in? What makes you laugh? What makes you happy when you think about doing it? And what do you absolutely love?
These are all critical questions that you need to spend considerable
time asking yourself and even more time figuring out what the answer is.
You'll say...I don't have time for that. I'm too busy. I've got too many responsibilities and time commitments to spend many hours at a time over many days, maybe weeks, maybe months, to think about my life.
That's why you have very far from your ideal life.
Since you don't have time for you, the way your life is going is not going to be good for you.
Or another way, the time you spend on examining your preferences is going to provide you much more of a chance at an ideal life than worrying about other people and waiting for them to change or provide you something.
any other good thing in your life, determining how to create your ideal
life takes thinking, planning and then acting on those thoughts and
Yes, this is going to be difficult, time
consuming and energy draining.
It may get extremely expensive and messy if you determine you have to end a marriage.
You are going to have to expend massive amounts of time and energy to change careers and move to a different location.
You may even have to deal with other people actively
trying to stop you tying to create your ideal life if you discuss this with the wrong people. A hint on this is to keep most of your plans and ideas to yourself.
So, at minimum, it is not going to be easy.
You might not even know where to begin.
Here is the simplest way to know where to begin. If your life is seriously amiss you probably need to stop doing something or maybe many somethings to have any chance to create your ideal life.
is simplest to do plenty of eliminating first. Cut out the toxic
people and frustrating situations. Anything not good, has to go.
But let's take a step back. Why should you listen to me about this? What do I know?
My Miserable Life Not That Long Ago
My Marriage was Killing Me
I was verbally abused by my wife.
None of the money I worked so hard for, under so much stress and so many overtime hours was mine to enjoy.
I never exercised and felt terrible and looked worse.
I rarely did anything I considered fun.
I hardly ever slept a full 8 hours a night, getting by on about 5 to 6 hours. I always felt exhausted and needed massive amounts of caffeine and junk food to keep me going at work.
I had very little free time, getting up at the last second to race to work, working much more than 8 hours a day with a 30 minute one way commute taking up more time. My evenings were spent either dealing with something I did not want to deal with or listening to my wife's lectures, putdowns, criticisms or complaints.
Most of my time was spent doing things I did not want to do.
I would regularly drive home late at night from a too long family get together on her side exhausted, barely able to stay awake taking a chance on all our lives.
The beautiful big house in the suburbs was more like a jail than a home.
I did not live where I wanted to live.
My 2 beautiful, precious young children regularly heard their mother give me a vicious tongue lashing. They saw me sit there absorbing her venom and passively take it.
But I got past all that stupidly miserable type of life. Persistently, relentlessly pushing myself toward the great life I enjoy now and all of us should have.
Create Your Ideal Life I Have Mine Mostly Created
My Most Difficult Relationship
I have not had to deal with my ex-wife in any way in over 6 years.
I have not had to listen to one lecture, one insult, one sarcastic remark or one raised voice in over 6 years.
I have not had to raise my voice in over 6 years.
I do not have to give her any more court ordered payments.
My Career & Finances
I have obtained my dream job.
I make more than the ideal happiness income.
I only work 40 hours a week. With the paid holidays and vacation time, I feel like I have plenty of free time.
I have a 10 minute walk to work commute.
I am at ease with public speaking.
I am saving and investing for my future in addition to chunking down my debt.
My young adult children are doing very well. At some point in the next few years they will be totally on their own. I love them and they love me. I see them regularly and always have a great time with them.
My children have seen how much happier I have become after leaving their mother. Many of the practices I developed to make my life better, they have taken on themselves. I have no fear that they will end up in a verbally abusive marriage. They are not willing to put up with a bad person in their lives. They will just move on.
I am weight training as often as I can and I'm as stronger than ever.
I do a lot of walking, a little hiking and a little swimming.
I have spent a lot of money on my teeth and they are in great shape with all the extra dental care and my extra cleaning routines.
I eat plenty of meat and have radically reduced my sugar and carb intake.
I get as much sunshine as I can.
I take a variety of supplements that seem to help me feel good.
I am on Testosterone Replacement Therapy.
I go to chiropractor regularly.
My Social Life & Fun
I recently moved to my chosen City.
I am closer than ever with my oldest and best friends.
I have met many new friends.
I am at ease meeting new people.
I spend plenty of time with my favorite people.
I have opportunities for fun and take them.
I've had some great man-woman type fun.
I have been on a lot of really great travel trips and plan on many more.
I have my apartment set up the way I like it and love to just be here enjoying it.
There is no singular life purpose. You — whatever
this “you” is — will change over time, and so will your preferences.
Convincing people to seek their life purpose has led millions in the
wrong direction. Stay busy, be useful to others. A sense of purpose will arrive.
View yourself as the most important person in the world. If
you are not healthy, wealthy, and wise, how can you leave an impact on
the world? If you’re mindset isn’t in order, how can you be a good
parent, pastor, teacher, public servant, or even informed citizen. Make yourself great.
I Still Have Some Old Issues to Try to Solve
My life is not perfect. I have a few old issues. Issues I have been dealing with my entire life.
My Main Issues
I find it very difficult to find properly fitting shoes. It is like this constant battle.
I lose a bit of weight, then gain it back. Junk food still has a hold on me.
The debts and deferred maintenance from my marriage still create a lack of spendable cash.
But these struggles are minor to what I have been through in the past. And since I have determined what they are so clearly, I can take action to solve them.
A Few Key Create Your Ideal Life Ideas
Your Work & Finances
This is first, because earning enough money to take care of yourself without relying on others is the key to having a good life.