Take your life back. You only have one life you know. Whatever is going wrong, make it right. And you know it's wrong when you are not happy, smiling and enjoying yourself most of the time.
Take your life back and believe that your happiness and your life is the most important thing. One of the worst ways to think is that happiness is not one of the most important things in your life.
And you will always hear that your happiness is not important. It is pounded into us, continually...relentlessly.
Take your life back and reject anyone who says that your happiness is not important.
Even if that someone is your wife.
When my wife would wear herself from giving me a me a good tongue lashing, criticizing me for all my faults and saw me moping around and depressed from her verbal abuse, she would say something like:
In her mind I should be happy that she would set me straight, using her sharp tongue to verbally abuse me into shape and molding me to be "correct," behave properly, agree with everything she said and bend over backwards acting on her demands.
Of course, will all this "correction" being happy was the furthest thing from my mind. I was just trying to survive her wrath and make it through another miserable day.
For years of my miserable life I thought she was right. Maybe my skin was too thin. Maybe she knew
best and was only criticizing me because I was such a pathetic loser. Maybe I should
let it roll off my back, be a man about it and take it.
Take your life back was the farthest thought from my mind.
After all, my happiness was not important. Everyone else, was more important than me.
Sometimes scenes from movies fit into the stupid narrative you have playing in your head. You internalize a terrible scene from a movie into your own life.
This scene from Platoon is where Sergeant Barnes puts his hand over the mouth of the screaming GI who is in agony from an injury. Barnes hisses to him to "Take the pain, your screaming is going to get us all killed."
Take the Pain Scene from Platoon
Gritting your teeth and getting through some sort of agony is only meant for temporary circumstances. This is to be expected and being tough is a good thing. But being tough all the time to just live your life everyday in pain, frustration and misery is totally not necessary.
I took the pain from my wife's verbal abuse for years. I internalized the sentiment from the movie. I can deal. I can handle. My life is not important. I'm tough. I'm a man. Me being happy is not important.
I know a lot of you think this same stupid way that I did.
But
it was just a movie. There is no need for you to take the pain and have
thicker skin. Don't take
the pain. Do something about it. Take your life back.
Don't put up with sarcasm, ridicule and verbal abuse of any kind in your relationships. Take your life back and keep your skin thin.
I finally realized that all what she was saying about me was wrong. She
had no right to criticize me and spend hours screaming at me with all she deemed were my faults. None. No right. I describe how I woke up in my book - Leave Your Wife & Become a Happier Man with the 3 Step System.
If someone is treating you poorly
and you don't like it, tell them to stop. If they will not or cannot
stop, you HAVE TO leave them.
Take the happiness of your life seriously. People lashing out at you it is a signal that the person is not good
for you. Your life is too important to keep putting yourself in
situations like this.
Hearing
my wife lecture me, belittle me, criticize me and verbally abuse me,
did not help me. It only made me despise her and leave her. Take your life back.
I hate people who are hard on others. Take your life back and get away from them.
Sometimes I think about how my life would be if I had never met my wife. How much money would I have now? How much would my investments be wort? How big would my pensions be? I'd be a millionaire, wouldn't I?
Would I have benched 405? Would I deadlft 600? Would my belly be flat and lean and would my muscles be massive and defined?
Would I have traveled all over the world? Would I have had sex with ???? women?
But, that's wrong thinking. Instead of thinking of what I missed and the problems and frustrations I dealt with, I want my thinking to be...I overcame, I won.
I needed to go through all that to get to the happier place I am now. I needed my wife in my life to co-create our 2 precious children. I needed to love, help, protect, care for and provide a great life to her for part of her life to ensure our children were cared for and nurtured.
She needed me so she could thrive to give life to our precious children.
I can't change the past, but I can acknowledge it and instead of thinking like the victim, I think like the victor. I won. I'm here. I'm a happier man in full control of my life and future. My wonderful marriage turned into a nightmare that I escaped from.
But you can use the past wisely and try to recapture some of the good things from your past.
I was really happy with quite a bit of my life in the years between 1987 -1992.
In some ways I was at the top of my game..
I looked good
I made a good income and was rapidly accumulating assets
I Was Having a Lot of Fun
I Felt Guilty
I Had Some Major Inconveniences
I Had Body Issues
I Would Not Spend Money to Make Major Improvements in My Life
I Was Improving My Body & Fitness and Looks but I was Still Doing Things Wrong and was Misguided
I was Fearful, Anxious and Envious
Most of the hangups and issues I had as a younger man, I have put behind me.
I still have the rewarding career and the relaxed, fun work environment. I am back building my financial life.
And best of all, I have much deeper relationships with my family, friends and my children.
Combine the best of the old you with the best of the new you. And leave the worst of the old you and worst of the new you behind.
Focus on what you can do now, today, tomorrow and the future to take your life back toward your ideal life.
The only way I could become the happier man I am today was by leaving my wife. You might be in the same situation I was in. I suggest you take a look at my book - Leave Your Wife & Become a Happier Man with the 3 Step System.
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