Getting the good life you want should be your highest priority. Why this isn't everyone's first priority is beyond me. What is more important to you than your own life?
Nothing is the short answer.
The faster you
come to that realization the faster your life will improve.
The flip side is that the longer you stay wallowing in the mire of thinking others matter more than you do, the more impossible it becomes for you to have any type of a life at all.
You need to spend enough time figuring out what a good life means to you.
It may be more money, better relationships, a reason to get up early, more satisfying work, a more adventurous lifestyle. or a more satisfying sex life.
I recently realized that I am living my ideal life now. I do not even need to make that many changes. I am doing about as much as I can do toward my ideal life and I have never been happier.
It may take a long time. But this is time extremely well spent. The more you know yourself, the more you can concentrate and focus on the activities, experiences and lifestyle you truly enjoy.
We Think Wrong
For a lot of people thinking of their own life is not something they normally do. You may need to think of what a good life is not in order to even determine what you want in your life. I know that in my own life I spent far too much time trying to please my wife and thinking about everyone but myself.
Continually trying to please others and putting their needs ahead of your own is totally unhealthy.
You just cannot have the type of rewarding life you deserve if your time is not your own. Do not let the ideas of others dictate how you live. You have to understand that most other people do not want you to have any fun.
To them, the worse your life is, the better.
Your money, your time, your freedom and you living a boring life is what they want. Your life not fun is what they want.
This just leads to an unsatisfactory life to you.
What I like to do is spend as much of my mental energy deciding what I want to do and how I want to spend my life. This is a lot more interesting than worrying about celebrities, sports stars and politicians.
Thinking about people like that is just so boring and stupid to me. I want my life to be inspire me, not bore me. Thinking about how other people lead their life bores and frustrates me.
I like to think of my life and what makes me happy. I want my home to be how I like it.
I want every aspect of my life to be how I want it. The more I think this way and take steps to make it this way, the more it becomes my lifestyle.
A small example of a good life for me is to avoid stress. Certain times of the year are notorious for causing enormous amounts of stress. Spend some time and effort to get organized for the holidays to reduce this stress causing time.
Another is working so many hours at a job that you do not have enough free time.
Another way to determine what a good life means to you is to first determine what it is not. You just think about what you want to end, what you want over, what frustrations you have and what is irritating to you. Once you think of the bad things you do not want and take the steps to get rid of the bad things, your life will get better.
One of the easiest ways to improve your life is to get rid of stuff that is making you miserable or is frustrating to you. This could be stuff or any situation that is annoying. Once damage is done, now what do you do? Do you ignore the pain, do you continue to live in misery? Or do you look for ways to improve?
My Biggest Problem Was My Wife
The source of my biggest pain was my wife. Being with her was not good for me. She was the problem. I could not take the pain of being with her any longer and left. Once I left her, my life began to improve. It was not an easy thing, in fact it was a terrible ordeal but I had to do it.
Maybe you are not in a terrible marriage but you may have lots of little frustrations you need to get through.
List out your problems and then list out all the possible solutions. Be creative, think this out. Get out your paper and pen. Writing is the key, instead of just keeping this all in your mind. Brainstorm as much as you can and get those ideas on paper.
The biggest hint to getting through problems is to try to see how many you do not have to deal with. Think what would happen if you just dropped things off your list without doing anything about them. This is the easiest way to get rid of large chunks of things you think you have to do.
Problems evaporate when you just refuse to deal with them.
Your happiness, your own good life should be the most important thing you work on. You deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else.
From Danger and Play
Mike explains how to make your life better.
I have Waylon's song here for 2 reasons:
My view is that much of country music, maybe most music, is rooted in fatalism, victim hood and the idea of someone doing for you or you doing for them. Like doing you wrong, cheating, lying, not making your happy, not paying your bills and on and on.
I love his voice and the song but absolutely hate the message.
We are all raised on this music, it is what we listen to day in and day out, there is no real escape until you see it.
Most of you will not ever see it. You will go on making promises you cannot keep or thinking that is up to someone else to make your life good.
It is not up to a man to promise a woman a good life, or vice versa. It is up to YOU to make your life good.
If the person you are with is somehow making your life not as good as it ought to be...just frickin' leave.
It is YOUR life dammit.
You'll never be happy waiting on others to make your life good.