How do you start to rebuild your life? Is it worth it?
It is not impossible or too hard...once you get your mind right.
As to how
long it takes, you only have one, you know...life. It slipping by day by day, second by second. If you are wondering if it's worth it or worried about how long it takes. What else would you be doing with your time that gives as much benefit? Bending over backwards trying to please another adult in your life like a boss, a spouse, a parent or an adult child. How is that benefiting you?
You either control your life or someone else will.
You rebuild your life just as you rebuild anything.
One piece at a time, one day at a time. With patience and persistence.
I know this is not what you want to hear. You want a quick fix. You want an easy answer. You want to get over the pain. You want the better life now.
Sorry, but that is not how it is.
You can feel better instantly by changing your mind. You can choose to feel better now. You can be happy now.
But changing circumstances takes time. Maybe a lot of time.
If you are very overweight you can instantly eat less and immediately start to exercise. The decisions you make this instant will start to rebuild your life. But, the results will take weeks and months to manifest. You will still be overweight even as you are losing weight.
If the job you are in is unsatisfactory. If it does not pay that well or have that many benefits, or if you don't really like it, you can quit today and start looking for other work. You can keep working there and look for other work. You can study other options. But it will take time to transition to something else. The older you are and the higher you already are in your career, the longer this will take.
If your marriage is in shambles. If you do not love your wife anymore. If being with her causes you pain. The decision to leave her can be made in an instant. But the actual leaving will take time. You can walk out the door, like I did, and try not to look back. But the rebuilding of your life will take time.
Once you have left your wife your troubles are not over.
But...thank goodness...they are in the process of being resolved.
The farther you move away from her and the more time elapses, the better your life will become. It gets easier and easier to be happier and your level of peace will improve.
The only problem you will really have in your life anymore, will be your ex. Everything else will seem minor compared to that.
Since most of your time is now without her, all that time will be good.
You will grow used to this relaxed, happy, enjoyable life. So when you have to deal with her in the future, your peaceful life will be shattered temporarily. Your life has now been so good for so long that any moment of negative behavior will be upsetting and irritating. You hate to have your life screwed up by her.
This is a big lesson she is teaching you. You have to be constantly on your guard, continually being vigilant. You cannot totally relax.
But this does not have to be a bad thing. You can use this edge to your advantage. You are no longer a weak man being pushed around by his wife or ex-wife. You are now a strong man continually on your toes to deal with whatever life may throw at you.
She will force you out of your lazy thinking making a life of total ease impossible for you. She will force you to enjoy each moment each day, each breath.
She will force you to see that your life is good now and that leaving her was the best decision of your life.
She will force you to realize the by her being in your life you are a better man.
You are no longer weak. You are strong.
You no longer want to die young. You want to live forever because you have so much to do, so much to see, so much to live for.
Dealing with her has honed your skills for dealing with other people.
From James Altucher
Rebuild your life and more ideas on how to start over.
I was down, living a miserable life but wanting something better.
I am working my way out of the old way.
The old way
How do I get past the old way dragging and pulling at me?
I know it sounds selfish but you have to save yourself. You cannot rebuild your life if the life you have is a total mess. You may have to run away to start to rebuild your life.
This is really the key to your freedom and the quality of your life. We are fed a constant stream of garbage in literature, songs, poems, stories, television and movies about the heroic tale of someone sacrificing himself for others.
But is any of this true?
You have to look deeper at who is telling the story and why.
The real reason for this story is to get us to easily give up our time, money, efforts and our lives to something or someone outside ourselves.
Why would a man who has a wife and children go off to fight a war that has nothing to do with taking care of his family, without being brainwashed first to think killing who he is told to kill a grand idea?
Because he believes deep in his soul that it is better to be unselfish. He believes the lies. He believes the stories.
All the while the truth is right in front of him. He has a wife and young children to care for. His real job is to take care of the people closest to him. Not go off around the world to kill who he is told to kill and get maimed or killed for the trouble.
Why is the military honored constantly?
It is to get us to believe that killing who you are told to kill and sacrificing yourself is a good idea.
If being in the military was such a good thing to do there would be no need to have such a vast propaganda machine to support it. You would just join because it was a great thing to do.
Anything that needs so much propaganda to support it is bad.
Only things that are bad need propaganda. The Nazis and communists were skilled at using propaganda to get people to believe there lies.
But lets get back to your life.
How do you save yourself?
What if you are in a bad marriage? What if your wife is verbally abusive? What if going home to your wife is the last thing you want to do? What if you do not love her anymore? What if you hardly even like her anymore?
Save yourself and leave her.
I know it is difficult to think this way. You have been told so often and heard it so many times that you have to stick it out. Till death us do part. Take care of my daughter. You made a commitment.
All these sayings and the guilt attached to them are really nothing more than propaganda. If staying with your wife was what you really wanted to do you wouldn't need to hear and believe all this nonsense. You would just happily stay with her.
That is the key to it.
If you are happy with her, you stay. You save yourself.
But if you are not happy, you leave, save yourself and rebuild your life.