The self confidence you feel knowing that you can do whatever it is you
set your mind on is an empowering feeling. Confidence in yourself, your
abilities, your individuality and your personality is the key to a great
It really does you no good to have confidence in others. In fact, I am always disgusted whenever I hear someone say about a politician, I have confidence in him, I will give him my vote. Or I would do whatever that President tells me to do. Or I have confidence in my doctor. Or I am confident my team will win.
This is about as wrong of a way to think as there is.
If you think that any politician cares anything about you other than getting a vote out of you, you will never have a decent life. If you think any President will do what is good for you, you need to wake up and stop believing in Santa Claus too. If you think every doctor knows everything there is or your team can never lose, you will suffer health problems and disappointments.
How can you have a decent life if your whole existence is based on the lie of you thinking that a politician cares about you.
How can you have a healthy life if you rely on a doctor for your health?
How can you enjoy your life if your enjoyment is based on some team winning?
No, a better way to think is that you will spend your time, your energy, your money and your life doing things to increase your self confidence. You will do things and buy things you want. This is the path to self confidence.
You will not gain much self confidence by just having people tell you to be confident. You will only begin to gain self confidence by taking action with no permission.
The people you admire have gained your admiration because of the actions they have taken to get to the point where you can admire them. They act with self confidence by doing what they want. They take a stand when they need to. They either take a stand against the bullies of the world or leave bad people behind.
They may have done those things to just be admired for their own vanity, who really knows. The point is that they did something to get to that point.
You are not going to have the things you want or the experiences you want to enjoy without taking the action to get there. Your life will improve in direct proportion to the amount of time, energy and effort you put into the pursuit of happiness. It is nice if the people who care about you say things like "I have confidence in you." That is a nice thing to hear. But what they are really saying is that they love you, like you and want the best for you. But it is up to you to do something.
Increase your self confidence by consciously going after whatever it is you want.
I like easy things I can do to improve my life.
If you are a man, you will probably want to get a woman or women. It is entirely natural to want that.
There are things you can do to increase your self confidence around women. There are dating coaches, dating gurus and advice for you.
You can do all the things that increase your confidence with women
All these things are just actions you can take to make you more self confident.
Think of it the opposite way.
Instead of going to the gym or walking or exercising and watching your diet, you never exercise and eat whatever you want all the time. You get flabbier and weaker and less attractive. How can you say you are doing this for your confidence? A self confident man will exercise and will watch what he eats to try to stay in better shape and therefore, look better.
Instead of getting outside and getting some sun, you stay inside all the time and become paler and paler over the years. You listen to the lies of how sunshine is not good for you. A confident man will spend some time in the sun with as little clothing on as possible to get some sun on his body. He will take off his shirt to feel the life giving rays on his chest and back. A confident man will find 15 or 20 minutes a day to spend outside in the sun.
When you look better, you will feel better and be more confident.
Instead of getting a haircut once a month you let your hair get long and bushy. Instead of brushing your teeth and trimming your nails you let these things go. Then when you are out and about you will be self conscious of your appearance. That is not how a confident man is. He wants to look good all the time. He wants to look his best all the time.
Instead of taking steps to make yourself look better and feel better to attract women you do nothing.
Instead of reading and listening and buying products that will help your success with women you do not bother to do this.
Instead of looking at women and making eye contact with them, you look away in fear and shame.
You consider it too expensive or hopeless. You just trust to luck. You go through life without enjoying a great sex life with women. You just stay alone and lonely and never express your sexual nature with them. Or you settle for a woman who is not suitable for you. Or you stay in an abusive, dysfunctional relationship because you are afraid that you cannot do better.
Instead of buying things that you really want and making lists of the products and services you want to eventually acquire and enjoy, you do not do this.
You squash down your desires so much and for so long, that you do not even really know what it is that you want. You cannot even list a few dozen things you would buy or do if you had a million dollars to spend.
You think that you are doing this because you are unselfish. But I believe you do this because life has ground you down so much and has you thinking you do not matter. You think you do not matter, so you do not do any thinking of how to make your life better, more pleasant and more fulfilling.
A confident man does not do any of this.
A confident man does not mind spending money on a dating product that will help him with women. Even the men who are fabulously successful with women spend money learning newer and better ways of relating to women.
A confident man will not stay in any type of relationship that is not good for him. He will leave a bad marriage. He knows that there are plenty of women in the world who will value him. He knows that even though his marriage has soured, he can find love again. He sees this all the time. Men and women having much deeper, much more fulfilling lives after a breakup than before.
He knows that since he has loved enough to get married one time, he will be able to do it again when the time is right.
A confident man strides the earth like it is his. He does not slink along the walls like a rat or a wallflower. He walks through the center of the room. He walks with his head held high and his shoulders back. He speaks loudly and clearly. He does not suffer fools gladly. He knows that he is special. He knows that he is smart, strong and of value. Not for what he does, but for what he is.
A confident man does not look to others to solve his problems.
A confident man looks at governments as the problem and treats them with disdain. He doesn't beg to get more from the government, he creates his own more. If his career is lagging because of the ups and downs of the marketplace and the corruption and incompetence of governments, he starts looking for other alternatives.
It is really up to you.
I cannot come and do for you. I am here to try to wake you up. I spent years wallowing in the types of despair I described above.
I wanted others to save me. I thought government was the answer. I thought if only the right president is elected then everything will be ok.
I spent years eating way too much, hardly exercising at all and never going outside. I grew weak and flabby and white and pale.
I just wore whatever clothes I had instead of actively looking for good things to wear that looked good on me.
I tried to avoid haircuts and let my hair get long and bushy and shabby trying to save the cost of the haircut.
And worst of all I spend years in an abusive marriage where I was not fulfilled. I was afraid that even though my marriage was not good for me, at least I was married, and how can I do better. I thought the misery I was going through was necessary. I believed the lie that you have to stay married no matter what. And that is all it is, a lie. It is your life, you do not have to stay married. You can walk away at any time.
But I woke up to this. I took the steps necessary to increase my self confidence. And I am taking more steps every day.
You can do the same.
If your job is in jeopardy you can start a side business or get training in something else or start looking for other work.
If you are overweight and out of shape you can start exercising and start eating less. You can start to think of yourself as a big man or even as a confident fat man working on being a lean man.
If your appearance is lacking you can get a haircut, cut your nails, brush your teeth more often and buy a few nice items of clothing and some new shoes.
If your marriage is on the rocks you can tell your wife how you feel and take steps to improve your marriage. Or you can decide to end your marriage. You can at least start to think if being married to your wife is something you want to continue to do. You can examine it. You can think about it.
This may be the most important component of self confidence. You may have gotten into a bad marriage and every aspect of it is just spiraling your life downward. This is why you need to think hard about it.
You can start to think about whatever it is that you want. You can make lists of whatever you want to buy, obtain, acquire and experience. This is the type of thinking you need to do for your self confidence building.
It will not help you at all to worry about politics, governments, religions, sports, entertainment and issues you have no control over.
All these things are just diversions to try to keep you from doing what I am describing.
What I am describing is concentrating on YOU.
Concentrate on you because you matter.
Humanity needs more people to be happier, richer, wealthier,
more peaceful, more fulfilled, better looking, more attractive, more
fit, healthier and having more and better sex lives.
You cannot do much about humanity. But you can do a lot about yourself.
Just think of your life getting better and better as you are getting richer, wealthier, happier, more at peace, fulfilled, having a life of wonderfully satisfying relationships.
Your self confidence will go through the roof.
If you are doing this and thousands and millions of others are doing this, think of how great the world will be. The world will be filled with powerful, fulfilled people brimming with self confidence instead of a world of cowardly people looking for others to push them around and tell them what to do and be treated with abuse, scorn and derision.
That is the world I am envisioning. That is the type of world I want.
But I know that the way to create that world is to make that world be my world first.
Join me in that world. Self confidence is something everyone can achieve. Start by working on you. Do what you need to do and want to do first.
This type of self confidence is how you want to go through life. You want a great life. You want to succeed. You want what you want. The way to get that is to take action, confidently work on what you want. Make the effort that is needed. Use your energy for what you want. Develop your skills and talents and do what you want.