If you want a happier life stop following bad advice.
You need to sift through a continuous stream of garbage talk telling you that your life, your dreams and your happiness is not important.
This garbage would have you believe that other people are much more important than you.
If following some advice feels wrong to you...stop doing it.
I have my google alerts set for the word happier. It is the key ingredient in my better life recipe. It is what I want more of. It is the theme of this website.
Doing things that make me happy and thinking differently about my life makes me happy.
Believing in my happiness allowed me to move away from dysfunctional relationships, bad jobs, bad people and a bad mindset into a happier, more satisfying lifestyle I am proud to share with you.
So I get upset when I see articles like the one below -
Per Yes Magazine
This is one of those garbage articles that seem to be the mindset of most people thinking that your life does not matter.
Here is a quote from the article I would like to get you to ELIMINATE from your thinking -
"There are more important things than being happy."
With fools like that writing crazy articles like that for large magazines like that one, I have my work cut out for me trying to help people reorient their lives to happiness.
If you don't think your happiness is the most important thing in your life you will continue to waste your precious life and time on stupid things.
If you know what not to do...and don't do it...your life gets better. It has to.
But that is not the way most of us live our lives.
Most of us Do What We Don't Want To Do
The normal guidance books talk about what to do. Lists of what you need to do or what you should do. 1000 Places to see before you die, 10 things to do this year, places to see, blah, blah, blah.
Books and articles like this decrease your happiness because the chances of you doing all those things small.
Your list of what to do and where to go should be carefully chosen by you.
Besides you will make far more progress and improve your happiness by NOT doing things. The less you do, the more your life will be easier, simpler and better.
So much of our lives is spent doing stupid things, doing things we do not want to do and making stupid mistakes, errors in judgment and things like that.
Here are a few silly examples of what NOT to do. I did not stop following bad advice from myself and others.
Thinking You Know Where You Are Going
I was driving with my fiance in Osh Kosh, Wisconsin. We were going to my brother's house for a family gathering. I had never been there and had no idea of the roads. I did have some directions that I had written from some telephone instructions from my dad.
I turned down what I thought was the right street and it just seemed odd. I finally realized my error when a little old lady who looked like my grandmother on the side of the road flipped me the bird and shouted out you're going the wrong way stupid.
Stop Following Bad Advice to Hurry Up All the Time
It was my wedding day and I had plenty of time to shave. But for some reason, nerves, I was rushing through it. I ended up cutting a massive hole on the inside of my lip. How the cut got on the inside I will never know, but it did. It seemed like the bleeding would never stop. I got blood all over my white t-shirt.
I was afraid I was going to get blood all over my white rented wedding shirt.
Stop Following Bad Advice to Spend More Time Lingering Over Coffee
I had breakfast with my girlfriend, now my ex-wife, at a greasy spoon diner. I love their food but it seems that sometimes the cream is a little off. We were sipping some coffee and talking after breakfast, taking our time. This was a big mistake. I started to feel some rumblings. I got up to pay right away and told her we need to get going. I probably should have used the diner restroom but we were not that far from my place and I figured the restroom at the diner would either be filled or disgusting.
I hurried to the car and implored my girlfriend to hurry up. We jumped in and took off. I must have been going too fast because about a block from my apartment building a cop turned on his lights behind me. I turned into my parking lot and climbed out. I was really suffering because I had to sit on the toilet really bad. My girlfriend told the cop about my plight and he said go to the bathroom.
By the time I got done and went outside, the cop was gone. My girlfriend had talked him out of a ticket.
Why Avoiding What Not to Do is so effective
The reason I like the idea of what not to do so much is that not doing things it is so much easier than doing things.
I stop following bad advice to always be busy doing something and concentrate on my life.
We are always being preached at and implored to do this and to do that. To give more, to give up to sacrifice. To rush. To hurry up. To get up earlier. To stay up later.
But for what and why?
When I am directed or forced into something I like to at least examine it and see if this is something I ought to do.
To me, much of my life has been spent doing what I did not want to or being made to feel guilty if I did something that I wanted to do.
I think you will find the same patterns in your life. You will either do something or not do something because someone says that you have to.
Or you will go ahead and do what you want but face the guilt from others. You may do what you want in that moment, but the guilt afterwards will make you think twice about doing that again.
Even if what you did for yourself brought you lots of happiness and lots of enjoyment.
The guilt will be difficult to overcome.
My type of fun involves drinking beer with good friends. Most people would not approve. Most people would be fearful of that type of fun. Most people do not believe in drunken fun. They have their reasons for the worry. But I have my reasons why I want to do what I want to do also.
You will always get a lot of negative feedback when your type of fun is a little bit outside of the lines.
How to answer a difficult question
I remember when an older co-worker of mine was describing a weekend spent with his brothers butchering the deer they had just shot during the hunting season. Our boss asked him if they drank any beer while doing this.
My co-worker answered that they drank quite a little beer.
I absolutely love that answer because it satisfies the drinker and the non-drinker.
If you are a beer drinker, you know what he means. If you do not approve of drinking, then the answer of little satisfies you.
Stop Following Bad Advice and Avoid the big problems that cause you endless grief
The big commitments of life are big for a reason. Once you get yourself into something it WILL be difficult to get out. Not impossible, but extremely costly, time-consuming, energy-sapping and emotionally crippling.
Give the big decisions more time, more fact gathering, more study and more self-reflection. If you just avoid these what not to do's, your life can be incredibly stress-free and happier.
Stop Following Bad Advice and Spend More Time Thinking of These Things Because Your Life Can Be Destroyed
Think for yourself. Take as much time as you need. You can ask for counsel and advice and carefully consider it. But stop following bad advice.