You will want to be more confident. There is little worse than a lack of confidence in your abilities. You see this all the time. Shy, embarrassed and afraid to speak up is the way of most men.
But it does not have to be that way.
I used to by shy and embarrassed. I hardly ever said anything. I was afraid.
This was all through my childhood, high school, college, graduate school and young adulthood.
Even as an extremely competent professional engineer in my thirties and early 40's.
My marriage did not help me then. I would go home after solving all kinds of work problems and getting a tremendous amount done and get verbally abused by my wife chastising me for everything I was doing wrong. In her eyes, nothing I did was right and everything was wrong.
There is no way for a person to be confident if the people you are around most and have the most impact on you are not good for you.
Most men have no business being married to a woman who criticizes him.
You have to leave her.
It does not help our case that we are constantly shown images of women criticizing men. As if this is the way it is supposed to be.
You may have to make some massive changes in your life.
I am not saying to go out drinking, drive, get in a car accident or get a DUI.
I am saying that it is your right to out and have some fun before you die. You are going to die sometime and if you need to drink to have some fun, then you need to do it.
Drinking is fun, that is why people love it. You should be able to enjoy this type of fun your entire adult life. Why not?
I do not party as often as I did in my early 20's. But I do party hard like that when I get a chance. I love it just as much now as I did then and have just as good of a time. But I do have a lot more other things I want to do so going out drinking is not something I do that often. But I still do it.
I am only in my early 50's, I want to have some fun.
I have to balance this. Hangovers hurt more than they used to. I get sick more easily. I have to limit what I drink to usually a lot less than I'd like.
To me there is nothing as enjoyable as seeing an elderly person drinking, laughing, socializing and having fun like they are a kid.
You can learn to drink sociably. You do not have to drink yourself into oblivion, you can enjoy drinking in a more modest way where you are still in control.
The stigma against drinking is not for safety it is for control of you by authority.
Drinking increases your confidence. The more a man drinks the more confident he is. This is why men in their 20' have so much more confidence. They are drinking more and drinking more often.
I think the crackdown on drinking is from older men in power trying to keep younger men from becoming too confident and easily taking over the power in the world.
I think you'll find that almost all control systems are based around the forces in control keeping the most capable people (young, vibrant, energetic men) down.
I think that you seem to be more confident when you drink
is that you become more of what you want to be.
Then, as a man gets older he drinks less and drinks less often. Usually his wife will get on his case if he has any fun. This starts the decline in vitality and confidence if you are not taking be more confident steps in other areas of your life.
Of course some older men go the other way and continue to drink every day to excess and lose all their vitality and energy. They may have the confidence from drinking but they look and feel like a weak old drunk.
So don't go that route.
Many jobs do not inspire confidence. Many are just the opposite. Many jobs slowly erode your confidence over time with obnoxious bosses, irritating co-workers, continually changing demands, rigid rules, office politics and the realization that most of what you are doing is boring and stupid and only necessary because of ridiculous reasons.
You may need to change jobs from time to time to get out of messes like this. Or at least realize that this is how the world works and laugh about it with your head held high.
You may have had a vibrant social life filled with fun that degrades into a stagnant existence based around mindless television, chores around the house and busyness doing things you do not want to do.
You feel like you're not living, just existing.
You need to have some fun and get some adventure into your life even if it just having a few drinks at your local watering hole.
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