Men are happier single. It is rare to find a married man who would not be more happy if he were single.
Women are happier single too, but I am a man and look at things from my perspective.
You know I am right about this. People get together, get married and stay together for reasons that have nothing to do with their happiness.
Societal programming, religious indoctrination and constant pressure from others are the main reasons. Not happiness for you.
You give up so much when you're married, it is not even fair or right.
But people continue to do it.
But there is an answer to this. Two answers really.
One is to not get married in the first place.
The second is to end your marriage if you foolishly get into one.
Are you living the way you want? Smart men leave whatever bad situation they are in, including a marriage. They don't fall for the lies that say you have to finish what you start, or you don't want to be a quitter or you married her and marriage is forever.
The best way to maintain your freedom is to be ready and willing to leave whatever you are involved in.
Conversely, you cannot be free if you are stuck doing something without any way to leave.
A Military Example
I admire the courage of soldiers and see the necessity of each country being prepared to defend itself. But I am against our leaders who get us into pointless wars, spend massive amounts of our money and propagandize young men to believe that being a hired killer is an honorable profession.
But aside from all that, what I hate about the military is that you cannot just quit once you are in. You have to serve out your contract or time or whatever it is that they call it.
How can you be free if you cannot leave?
You can't. You are not free. You are basically a slave for the time you signed up for. That is the hardest thing about it. You are signing up to be a slave. You were not even captured. You willingly signed up.
The pressure to sign up is enormous. with propaganda everywhere, ever present and non-stop. You can easily fall prey to it.
The military propaganda sounds so good.
They will pay you
It is hard to resist. I almost signed up myself years ago. I almost fell for their seductions. I nearly signed up for ROTC in college, but by some miracle of right thinking, I resisted.
I think I was self aware enough at that time, that the good they were selling was far outweighed by the bad of the enormous loss of personal freedom and enormous risk.
But I did fall for the scam of marriage being a good thing for men. It's not.
I have nothing against falling in love and living with a women. It can be wonderful.
But once you are married, you are owned by her and owned by others. Your life will not be your own anymore.
Everything you do will be in the context of a husband, a married man. Every time you fill out any type of form, your wife will have to sign it also. You cannot just do. You have to go through her.
It took me 14 years to leave. This was probably at least 5 years of my life that I was conscious of the fact that my marriage was not good.
So I wasted many years of my life, being dumb, being stubborn, believing the lies and thinking other people mattered more than I did.
When I finally woke up to the fact that my life mattered the most to me, I left her, and have not missed one aspect of being being married at all. I have my freedom once again and I am making the most of it. It too me a awhile, but I joined the smart men leave category and have never been happier.
A bad marriage is the worst thing that can happen to a man. It will take you years to recover. Some men won't ever recover.
There are countless men spending the rest of their lives after a bad marriage in misery, shame, humiliation, pain, broke, broken, sexless, without the ability, resources or even the desire to meet a new woman.
This is just the reality of what happens after a bad marriage.
This deep seated knowing that this is how your life could be will make you extremely reluctant to leave even the worst marriage for you.
This limbo land of realizing that your marriage is not good for you coupled with the ingrained thought that life after divorce may be terrible also, keeps you in a bad marriage long after you should have left.
The chances of having a good marriage are so small that it does not make any sense at all to get married if you are a man.
Why chance it?
If you are standing on a tall building, the chances of surviving the fall are not great, why chance it? It makes no sense to get into things that are not likely to work out for you.
You can live with your woman. Just do not get married. If she is not satisfied with you providing a home for her and most of her living expenses then she only wanted you for your money anyway. She does not love you, she loves what you can provide to her. This is the huge trap that most men get into.
If a woman really loves you she will not make demands on you. She will gracefully accept what you can do and also what you cannot do. If she insists on marriage, it means she is really only interested in you as a means of being married. She just wants to be married, it does not matter with who. The difference is huge.
I bought into all the nonsense about marriage too. I got married. I stayed for 14 years. Getting out of all the entanglements was extremely difficult. Financially, divorce is devastating for men. I am back at a point I was 25 years ago, back to zero or a little below zero.
I have made hundreds of thousands of dollars at my jobs in all those years with nothing to show for it. That is what a bad marriage will do to a man. That is what it will do to you.
By far the biggest way to improve your life is to eliminate things that do you the most harm. The negative things cancel out positive things. And this is not in a one to one ratio. One negative thing cancels out hundreds or thousands of positive things.
Consider this example
Assume you are a married woman. Your husband is a good man. He goes to work and makes a decent income. He provides a nice home. He buys the cars. He maintains the house and yard. He helps with the housework. He cares for the children. He listens to you and provides love and compassion. He is even decent looking and an attentive lover. All good so far right? What if he does this for years on end? You would call him a model husband and a great man.
But then one day something happens and he comes home and beats you up. He breaks your bones, calls you names while doing it and terrorizes you.
Now what? Is he still a good man? He was good for all those years. Doesn't that count for something? What if he goes back to being good the next day or even an hour later? What then?
I say the entire marriage is over. The marriage is dead. The wife must leave. She can never be with him again. That one bad cancelled out thousands of goods.
That is what I mean. It does not matter so much the good, eliminate the bad and your life improves.
I left my wife. She had good qualities. We both said we loved you a lot. There was a lot of good. But the bad things she did cancelled all this out. I grew to not like her at all. It did not matter about all the good things she did and had done. It only mattered what bad she did. At times she was just awful to be around.
From Mid Life Bachelor
All true for me.
Scroll to the 1:50 minute mark for some wisdom from Brent on single life versus family life and how you will be happier single.
By the way I think Brent Smiths views on dating and relationships are mind blowing. I bought his book and have been studying his material. Wow.
Here is some more thoughts on why men are acting rationally in their own best interests. Basically you will be happier single.
Wow, marriage unsafe statement. This is unbelievable to see on on a mainstream news show. But it is and you need to understand this.
I am not for marriage. The last few years of my marriage was the worst time of my life. Getting out of it was a messy, painful disaster. It was financially devastating. There were times when I screamed in rage and spent hours in depression. It was physically exhausting and mentally draining.
I am so much happier single.
If you fall in love and want to live with a woman, you can just do that. Live with her. You do not need to be married to do that. Most couples live together for awhile before they get married anyway.
It is not so much the getting married that is bad. It is the getting out of it that is bad.
You want to be more fluid and flexible in your life, not less.
But most of you will ignore my advice to not get married and will be swayed by what others insist you do.
At least take steps to make your life better before you get married
Being married should not be about stuff like children, pets, houses and joint accounts. It should be about two people loving being together and wanting to spend time together. Children, pets and fights over money will not bring you together. These things just drive you apart.
Your life is so much better and happier single.
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