Are you be happy with yourself, your life and how you live it? Do you absolutely believe that you deserve happiness?
Are you doing whatever it takes to live a happy life on whatever terms makes the most sense to you? Do you rearrange your life as often as necessary to make a great life possible for you?
Do you think you matter and go about life as a person who matters?
Or...do you think the opposite of this?
Thinking happiness is an impossible dream to have. It's too difficult, not meant for you. A good life is for other, special, more deserving people.
You are destined for a life of problems, misery and unhappiness.
You must fulfill a long list of accomplishments and spend your life sacrificing for others first before you may be "allowed" a bit of happiness.
You see it, don't you? This wrong thought process forcing most of you into miserable lives of unhappiness.
Your thoughts are wrong when you are not happy about your life. When your thoughts are wrong, your life will be wrong.
You need to constantly switch your thoughts to feeling good.
Once you find yourself thinking in a negative way, switch that off and switch to a good thought. Think of something good from the past. Think of something good that could happen in the future. Dream and plan.
What you don't want is to feel bad.
Feeling bad does not help you, it only conditions you toward the bad.
You need to condition yourself toward the good. Because your life can be good. In fact, it can be exceptional. You can spend the rest of your life doing what you want almost all the time and enjoying yourself along the way.
It starts with your thoughts.
Your thoughts control your actions. When you think negative or wrong about something, your actions move you toward circumstances and situations proven to create even more negative feelings.
When you make a big mistake, it takes a long time and enormous effort to work your way out of it.
Most men never get out and are never happy.
Life gets better and easier and your chances to be happy with yourself improve if you avoid huge mistakes.
You will fail and make mistakes as you go through life. It's a learning experience. However, it's good to learn from other's mistakes so you don't have to learn all the simple lessons for yourself.
These simple lessons stare at you all the time. Men make them over and over again. Ruining their lives. Living in misery. Broke and hen-pecked. No free time and exhausted. Unhealthy and looking terrible. Maxed out in debt with no cash. No fun and adventure. No relaxation and no time to think.
That is your life if you refuse to learn these simple lessons.
What to Avoid to be Happy with Yourself
I did make most of these mistakes when I was thinking wrong. Once I started believing that my life mattered I was able to move away from all these these happiness killing problems in my life and have never been happier.
Some good advice for men on how to be happy with yourself from Tom Leykis.
You need to be happy now and happy with yourself. The longer you delay the worse your life becomes until there is no life left.
Certainly you should remember the lessons of the past. Reflecting on past success and mistakes is a great way to learn. Reminiscing with other people is a great way to bond.
Just as certainly you think to the future, setting goals and making plans.
The past and future are very important.
But the present is still the key. Living well, enjoying life now because you don't know how long you have.
See if you can relate to this
I spent most of the day after Christmas 2013 at the cancer center at the UW--Madison hospital. .
My dad's health problems left him too weak to drive. For the last year or so my mom had to take over all the driving. She is a good, capable driver, but she was 73 years old at the time and was used to my dad handling the majority of the driving for her entire adult life.
My dad had started chemotherapy right before Thanksgiving and had another appointment the day after Christmas. I took some time off from work and stayed over Christmas night so I could drive them to the hospital.
All these doctor appointments and chemotherapy treatments were taking a toll on my father. Getting
there took all the strength he had. It would take a week for him to
recover. Just in time for the next appointment. All this care taking was hard on my mom too. So I was happy to help them a little when I could.
The next day we got up early to leave right after sun-up.
That winter was brutally cold one. One of those terrible winters you remember forever. The kind you dread.
Just getting my severely weakened dad from the house to their 4 wheel drive jeep was an ordeal with the horrible below zero weather, icy deck and sidewalk and deep snow piled up everywhere.
I was winded and my dad was exhausted as I pulled out of the driveway for the start of an hour drive to the hospital.
It was not snowing, but the howling wind was blowing icy snow over the road in spots and I nervous about the car sliding off the road.
Once we finally got to the hospital we were in the clear for awhile. Getting inside was much easier with a covered entry and wheelchairs handy.
We were early so had time to sit around the waiting room and observe the other patients.
He had a full schedule that day with a blood draw, an appointment with his cancer doctor and the weekly chemotherapy treatment that consisted of nearly a dozen pills and an injection.
This was his fifth weekly treatment and so far he has not been nauseous or lost any hair.
I could say the same for the packed waiting room in the cancer center. Most of the patients had significant hair loss, looking haggard, tired and weak. Some patients were not even that old.
It looked like one of the patients was going to nearly die right there in the waiting room. She was wearing a hat to cover her bald head. Her eyes were hollow with gigantic bags under her eyes. She was concentration camp thin and weak, looking about as bad as a person can look.
As they wheeled her out from her blood draws she had some type of reaction and collapsed out of her wheelchair. The nurse was trying to help her but it was like no one knew what to do. She was dying in the waiting room of one of the largest hospitals in the state and no one knew what to do.
I was joking around with my mom and dad prior to this trying to keep things light with them even as we were sitting in a cancer center waiting room.
I don't have cancer, so maybe my mood was not appropriate. But to me, this has been one of my best Christmas's ever. I have nearly put two decades of bad holidays with my wife and now ex-wife behind me.
I quickly stopped joking around when the woman nearly died right in front of us.
But it was not surprising. I was expecting that most of the patients in that waiting room were going to die in the near future. The treatment may prolong their lives for a few months, maybe a few years. Some may make a great recovery and live a nice long time.
But, most will not. Most will suffer pain, nausea, hair loss, weight loss, energy loss and life loss.
Their pain and suffering will continue to be the story of the rest of their short lives.
This may be you someday.
Instead of happily going about your life you will go to a routine check-up, they will find cancer and your life will be over.
Instead of being fine all the time, you will get weaker, lose weight, finally see the doctor and you will be told to get your affairs in order because you only have year at most.
This is the reality of this brief life we are given.
A few of you will live long, happy, healthy lives. Most of you will not. Most of you will spend your golden years doctoring and suffering.
The only way to beat death at his own game is to be happy with yourself in whatever way works for you.
You cannot wait to be happy because illness and death comes for us all.
My dad received some good news that day. His treatment seemed to be working. The doctor told him that his blood work numbers are moving in the right direction so that it appears that the treatment is working to kill the cancer.
The doctor said that he might be much improved by spring. This news was so good we were all quite emotional, especially my dad. He wants to go on living.
dad did have a happy life. He lived life fully and deeply, doing what
he wanted as much as he could. He was quite active and healthy up until
a year ago. He wanted to get back to the happy with yourself life he had.
But he was not strong. He was frail, pale, weak and old.
My dad went spent 2 weeks in the hospital a month later. And died a week after that on Valentines day, 2014.
He was 73 years old.
Do you have a comment about this or something to add? Share it!