Today I'm spending the afternoon working on my ideal life planning. Eleven years ago my life was a total mess.
I'm sitting in one of the coolest coffee shops in the City I moved to last year. I am reflecting back on the good things that I have done in my life in recent years and noting down things I want to do, be and have in the near future.
I am confident that I will achieve all these goals or something better without extreme effort on my part. Just the persistent moving forward acting on my desires that works the best for me and all people.
I haven't even had the time to do this until today, what I call...Ideal Life Planning...because I have been so busy living my ideal life.
Last 5 weeks
I am mostly living my ideal life right now anyway. I have the truck of my dreams. I live in a great apartment with all the amenities that I really like. I have it all set up just how I want it.
I work hard within my capacity at a career that I am well suited for and that I get paid very well that has quality of life benefits.
I have time to exercise and take care of myself, lifting, walking, hiking, swimming and doctoring as needed.
My kids are doing very well as are the rest of my family.
I find it easy to pay my monthly bills and buy whatever I else I want. I am paying off my old debts at a rapid pace.
I am happy, healthy and at peace and the future is shaping up to be even better.
So why should you care about me? I am just bragging about how great my life is?
Yes, I am quite happy now, but it was not that long ago, 11 years, that my life was a total mess. I was suffering under incredible verbal abuse from my wife. I was a basket case, sometime suicidal, always depressed and walking on eggshells.
If you are involved with a verbally abusive woman, start educating yourself about the harm she is doing to you. Here are a few resources to help you:
I had zero time to sit and think about what else I wanted to be, do and have in my life. I was just worried about survival or even if I wanted to survive.
At that time the thought of growing old with my wife terrified me. At least I could escape to a stressful job each day to avoid her verbal abuse. When I got old there would be no escape.
An early death seemed like the only solution.
You should spend as much time working on your ideal life planning as it takes.
Normally many hours a day at a time and spread out over several weeks, months or years.
If your life is so busy, chaotic, stressful and filled with drama that these hours are not going to be available to you, that is the clue pointing to the solution.
You need the time to create and craft your life moving toward your ideal.
If you don't have the time or the energy, you have to make whatever changes are necessary to get that time and have that energy.
For me it meant leaving my wife. My marriage was a nightmare and no matter how hard I tried to fix things around the edges, the biggest problem I had was her.
Ending my marriage saved my life and my happiness.
A bad marriage will sap all your time and energy. Mine certainly did.
What you have to understand is that the years you spend in a bad marriage will carry forward and affect you far into the future. Just because I left my wife on June 23, 2007 did not mean that my life was suddenly great on June 24 the next day. In many ways my life became far worse for many years afterward.
But without leaving her I would not be so happy and so content now.
When I was married, my wife kept me so busy with her constant demands and badgering, that the only time I had to do any thinking at all was early on Saturday mornings before she woke up.
She'd usually fly into a rage about this anyway, not wanting me to have any time to myself and insisting I stay in bed to rest so she could put me to work later that day.
During the week, I would wake up at the last possible instant, take a quick shower, get ready, grab a cold bagel for breakfast in the car on the way to work to be there on time if I had any hope of keeping my job.
After working 9 to 12 hours each day, I would get home, eat an extremely carb heavy, light on the meat or no meat meal, and then start working on the huge list of chores around the house.
I might be allowed to take a short nap in an uncomfortable chair late in the evening before tackling a few more hours of chores at midnight.
Now I do mostly what I want, when I want. I go to bed early or stay up late. There is no one pushing me to do things I don't want to do. There is no one making unreasonable demands. I never have to explain myself. I never have to apologize for something I did not do.
Yes, I work a normal 40 hour a week job, but it's fine. I have some freedom to do what I want and need to do. Yes, I have plenty of bills to pay. Yes, I have a lot of desires that are unmet.
But, I consider my life ideal for me now. I can think and plan and be confident that what I really desire will happen.
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