Self Esteem Building

What does self esteem building mean to you?

Is it pumping yourself up each morning to deal with an extremely difficult lifestyle, relationship or circumstance?

Is it you chugging coffee and eating junk cereal to wake up each morning, groggy, tired and depressed about to face another miserable day?

No

It is you waking up and seeing how the mediocre or even miserable life you are in now can be changed so you can live your life in an entirely different and better way.

You can start by using your frustrations and irritations to point out the small changes you need to make.

But in order to create the type of life you really want, use your extreme pain and misery to know exactly what massive changes you need to make.

That is the kind of waking up I am interested in.

I believe that a fairly large percentage of the world is on the brink of this waking up and creating a far better world for themselves. Don't you read and view countless examples of this? 

Or...

Do you focus on the negative views and news that is still available?  Are you still in the muck, looking up at others, thinking "they" are all better than you, and therefore, "they" deserve to have a good life and you do not.

Do you just stoically accept your mediocre or even terrible life because you don't want to do anything about it?  It's too hard.  I made my bed, now I have to lie in it.  I made a huge mistake, now I have to live with it for the rest of my life.

Just because you made massive mistakes and your self esteem is shattered, does not mean it has to remain so.  You can change anything, even low self esteem, if you start and just keep going.

The free flow of information, known as the internet, is making it possible for more and more of us to wake up and think that we matter.  You can continually feed your mind the positive reinforcement of the successes of others, the potential you have to change and the reality that you deserve a great life.

This is what happened to me. I woke up to a miserable life and the internet made it possible for me to escape that misery and live a vastly far better life.

Self Esteem Building and Me

a happier manMe feeling good now after years of self esteem building

Prior to my internet research I was just foundering around in a marriage that left me borderline suicidal. I was depressed, miserable, thinking I did not matter. I thought everyone else mattered more than I did.  Maybe I would have a good life in the far-off distant future after I made a certain amount of money to satisfy my wife, or if she could settled down and be nice to me or maybe after she died.

But that way of thinking was entirely wrong. Not just a little wrong, entirely wrong.

I stoically put up with my wife's verbal abuse, listening to her sometimes night long lectures on my faults, dealing with her screaming tirades, bending over backwards trying to please her and hoping that she would give me a little peace or at least die a few years before me so I could have the peaceful life I desired so much when I was an old man.

The more I studied and read, researched and spent time thinking about this sort of thing, the more I realized that I did matter.  The the way she treated me was abuse and not right. And that the only way for me to have a good life was to leave her.  This type of mindset work I did was a form of self esteem building. It was realizing that I am important.

I rejected anything that hinted at me not mattering and embraced my life as never before.

I would not continue to live as I was living.

My life mattered to me now. My life, my happiness, my goals, my fulfillment became the most important thing to me.


From Chris of Good Looking Loser on his Get a Life Website.

How to Build Self Esteem

Chris breaks down how to have a great life on his websites.  This article is fantastic.


I rejected being

  • A cog in another persons plans.
  • Just be an employee.
  • Excessively worried about orders, rules, laws and regulations.
  • Forced to work on the endless lists of someone else.
  • Verbally abused from my wife.

This was a massive shift in my thinking. It was a massive self esteem building exercise.

I know that I am talking a lot about I in this article, but what I am really saying is that YOU matter. You matter to you.

Does anyone even get that?

You are not here to sacrifice. You are not here to be a good soldier and kill who you are told to kill and get killed for the trouble.

You are not hear to be abused by anyone, even your family, even your wife.

You are not hear to live a small life of desperation.

Can you wake up enough to see that?

You are here to live. 

You matter.

There was no sign above your crib with your destiny on it to be a soldier, a cog or a verbally abused man. You have no destiny. You create your life. Destiny is just a word used by the powers in control. You do not have to continue to listen to them.

I don't.

I have no destiny. My life is my choosing. I chose wrong before.  But that does not mean I have to live with that choice.

I chose to do differently and now I am happily working my way out of, my mistakes.

I chose to get married. And it was fine...for awhile.  I chose to stay as long as I did.

In the end I chose to leave.

Thinking that you have to remain married forever to one person is just a way to control you. The choice to remain married has to be by both people as a way to increase each others happiness.

I get sick hearing an elderly couples, or any couple, bickering. Feeling their bitterness and rage toward each other.  Their once happy life together a small war stripping any hope of happiness from each other.

You staying with a woman you do not love anymore, that you dislike, is just an incomprehensible cruelty inflicted on you from religious people long dead. Your day to day happiness matters far more than a stupid promise you made in a dusty church long ago. Your life right matters, day by day, instant by instant...now. This is self esteem building at it's most basic.

Can't anyone see that?

Why do religions insist on couples staying together when one person does not want to? How can anyone look into another person's heart and say that they are wrong for wanting to leave? It makes no sense.

That is why I have abandoned religions.  It has no concept of the individual.

Government is no better, putting up ridiculous hoops to get married, financial incentives to stay married and financial punishments to leave a marriage.

I am not interested in being pushed around, bullied and cowed to stay in my place by governments or religions.  I will do my own choosing from now on.

Each person is an individual with desires, needs and is deserving of happiness. The sooner we all wake up to this the better.

I think of government this way.

Without government

  • Hitler is just an lunatic spouting off hatred instead of a war mongering thug.
  • Stalin and Mao are just grumpy old men instead of murderous fiends responsible for the deaths of millions.
  • You just walk away peacefully from a marriage.

Once you wake up you will see it.

You can wake up and see that killing anyone is wrong.  You don't have to kill people to be safe.  You can just protect yourself and your country.  I think Islam is the most atrocious religion ever devised.  But killing Islamist's is not the answer. 

Marginalize them.  Isolate them.  Leave them alone.  Killing is wrong.

You can wake up to realize that your life is the only thing that matters to you. You do not have to continue to take whatever it is that you are taking. Your self esteem building begins by realizing that taking anything from anyone is not what you are here for.

I woke up to realize that I did not have to try to convince my wife to be nice to me.

She either is nice or she is not.

I realized that she could not. I started my self esteem building because I woke up and decided that I mattered and since I mattered, I did not want to be with her anymore. I left.

You can do the same.

You can walk at anytime. You can start your self esteem building right now. You can leave this article and start to think better about yourself. You can start to plan how you want your life to be.

If something is not right. You can start thinking about how to fix it.

Leaving your wife will be extremely difficult and a severe hardship. There are massive roadblocks in your way. You will suffer in many ways worth it. Your self esteem building starts with realizing that you matter and that you will have to go through some extremely difficult times to get to the better times.

Self Esteem Building - Conclusion

Your life is nothing without high self esteem.  You know deep down that it is true.  The opinion you have of yourself is the one that matters.

People will come and go.  Some will think highly of you and some will think low of you.  Your job is to always think highly of yourself.  People get into extremely unhealthy and unsatisfactory situations because of the lack of high self esteem.

Why would you stay in a relationship for more than 5 minutes if the person who says that she loves you treats you like dirt?  That was my life.  My low self esteem caused me to not leave my wife for years after I knew I should leave.

You think you do not matter so you do not do things to look out better for your life.  You believe in sacrifice and that others matter more than you do.

But let me ask you, why?  Why are other people more important than you?  That is what I struggle with every day.  Why do I feel that other people are better and more deserving?

You deserve a great life just as much as the next person.

› Self Esteem Building

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