Use Music to Heal
After You Leave Your Verbally Abusive Wife

Use music to heal after you leave your verbally abusive wife.

If you left your wife because of her verbal abuse, you are going to be in bad shape.  You've been wrecked, emotionally, mentally, physically and financially destroyed.

So, you're not the man you want to be.

You need to spend time healing.  Building yourself back up.  Being good to yourself and moving your life in the direction you want it to go.

Plus, in the aftermath dealing with your ex-wife, she will not just be nice, kind and sweet to you.  That is not going to happen.  She is going to be mean, vindictive and look for ways to make your life as miserable as possible.

You will be trying to happily move on with your life, trying to get yourself together after years of being under her thumb.  Then as you need to interact with her for the kids or some other issue, she will take the opportunity to drag you back down again.

So...you need to find ways to help you heal.  There are a variety of ways:

  • Sleeping more and resting in general.
  • Start working on your fitness with weight training and other methods.
  • Be good to yourself in general.  Get a medical appointment if necessary.  Get to the dentist.  Consider getting your testosterone checked.  All this takes a ton of money...so you may need to proceed very slowly over the years like I did.
  • Get some sun.  This is free and one of the best ways to feel good.
  • Buy some things you'd like and can afford. Instead of the shopping ordeals I went to with my wife, spending hours shopping for things I had no interest in and spending tons of money on stuff we didn't need, I spent small amounts of targeted money just improving my life little by little.
  • Start to develop a plan to improve your finances that have more than likely been devastated.
  • Find ways to be more comfortable than you were when you were married - clothes you like, furniture that is comfortable, proper shoes.
  • Eat well the things your wife would not allow when you were married.
  • Get back in touch with family and friends your wife kept you isolated from.
  • Start hobbies or work on fun things you never had time for when you were married.
  • Read, listen and watch what inspires you rather than the dreck you probably watched with your wife.
  • Start doing things you used to enjoy but did not do while you were married.
  • Explore.

But in this article I am going to focus on use music to heal you.  Because music you love, musics that inspires you and music that help you move from a bad mood to a better mood are available...in this world...just for you.  Use music to heal you.

The songs I used to heal me were written and performed long before I needed them.  But when I needed them, they were there...waiting for me to listen to over and over again. And I know how much this music meant to me and my healing process.

Use Music to Heal

The songs you listen to need to be carefully chosen songs by you to help you heal.

Not to tear you down and wallow in self-pity, but to acknowledge the real, deep pain you've had to deal with and live through.

Sometimes you are going to need to cry.  I certainly did my share of crying over the lost years of my life.

Sometimes you are going to need to scream in anger.  I certainly did that too, taking out my rage by screaming out songs by myself.

Sometimes you are going to have to just sit there and know that what you dealt with will make you stronger if you can just keep moving forward.

You May Need a Song to Deal With Your Anger First

You will be angry.  I was.  Use music to heal your anger.

After I left and started to try to heal by recreating my life more the way I wanted it to be, every time I had to interact with my ex-wife for the kids or some other situation, she would do what she could to drag me back down.

You will be angry at the situation your wife put you in.  She mistreated you and continues to mistreat you.  She wrecked your life.  She is trying to poison your children against you.  She continues to squander your money. 

And she takes perverse delight in trying to make you miserable even after you have left her.  Even after you have made up your mind to move toward happiness, every interaction with her will be another episode of regret.

One of the best songs to help clear the anger at the poisonous venom your wife's verbal abuse pushed on you is Phil Collins..."I Don't Care Anymore."

In this powerful song, with the rhythmic pounding drums, is his feelings of dealing with his ex-wife and how he feels about it.

I used this song in the car after spending too much time with my ex-wife, when I helped my daughter with her homework, I stoically sat at the dining room table with my ex-wife doling out the verbal abuse.

After I left, I would crank up this song and scream myself hoarse along with Phil and pound on my car's steering wheel.  The harder I screamed the song and the more I punished my car, the better I felt.  By the time I got home, the anger bled out of me.

And I healed.

Here's Phil's Song

Here's the back story on the song:

I Don't Care Anymore

My favorite lines:

I won't be there anymore
Get out of my way
Let me by
I got better things to do with my time

...

And I really ain't bothered what you think of me
'Cause all I want of you is just to let me be
I don't care anymore
Do you hear, I don't care no more

...

No more, no more

You May Need an Apology, But You Aren't Going to Get it From Your Ex-Wife.  So Use a Someone Else's Apology

When you leave your wife and you start your life over, and you interact with her over the years, she is not going to apologize. 

So I recommend you project an apology from someone else.

Your ex ruined your life.  She is not going to ever say that this is what happened.

She was wrong, you are a a decent man who didn't deserve this level of abuse.  So take some kindness from someone else. 

One of my favorite songs that helped me heal was Cher's best song..."Turn Back Time."

This is the song men need to hear to project the apology your ex-wife is not going to ever give you.

So I turned this song up and listened to it over and over. And it helped me to heal.

My Thank You to Cher...Your Song Was There When I Needed It

Here's Cher's Use Music to Heal Apology Just for You

My favorites lines:

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that have hurt you
And you'd stay

...

Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes

...

When you walked out that door
I swore that I didn't care
But I lost every thing, darlin', then and there

Use Music to Heal Wrap-Up

I wish we could all just listen to happy music and these types of songs would not be necessary.

But that is not the reality many of us have to deal with.  In the chaotic, messy, dramatic years after you've left your wife...use music to heal.

› › Use Music to Heal

The only way I could become the happier man I am today was by leaving my wife.  You might be in the same situation I was in.  I suggest you take a look at my book - Leave Your Wife & Become a Happier Man with the 3 Step System.

Click to go to learn more about the book

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