Live Like You Matter

Your life can massively improve if you start to live like you matter.

Most of us spend the majority of our lives thinking that we don't matter and see the results of that horrible way of thinking forced on us by the world and the forces in control. 

In spite of thousands of years of propaganda and what seems like a constant drumbeat from others that we individually do not matter, you do matter.  Your life and your enjoyment of your life is the most important thing to you.

This is a practical way for you to think so your life does not veer off into lack, mediocrity and even misery.

I Did Not Think I Mattered as a Kid, Teenager & Young Man

Prior to when I was 22-1/2 years old, I lived as though I didn't matter.  My normal state was one of lack and confusion.

Lack was ever-present with the day to day grind of not having anything close to the way I wanted it.  I rarely had any money to do anything I wanted to do and I agonized over even the smallest purchase.

I worked out very hard, but could not get in the shape I wanted and mostly got myself very tired, very sore and suffered some frightful injuries.

I was an extremely late bloomer with the ladies and then when I started to have some luck it was very sporadic.

I lacked the free time I craved.  In grade school, I was kept busy doing lots of things I had no interest in.  In high school, almost all my free time was spend playing a sport I hated - basketball.  In college I spend enormous amounts of time studying for my extremely demanding engineering coursework. I never had any time to think or free time to just relax.

I never spoke up and rarely asked for any help from anyone.  I never even looked like I needed help so no one really offered me any guidance that was helpful.

I'd have fun with my friends sometimes, but often would find our times together awkward and forced.

Sometimes I did not have a car and when I did it was small and basically an old junker with lots of issues.

I did not work consistently but when I did work, the jobs were incredibly boring and tedious and sometimes extremely physically demanding.

I would have some good conversations with people, but just as often I would go long periods of time without really saying anything.

I didn't spend any time planning out my strategies or do any journaling of my thoughts and success.

I was confused because there might be an occasional time of happiness, excitement, some measure of abundance and a relaxed, stress-free life, but more often there was none of that.

My Glory Years Were Great But I Still Did Not Live Like I Mattered

When I turned 22-1/2 years old I basically climbed my way out of the confusion and lack of my youth and into a far better life as a man.  I still consider the years from 22.5 to age 29 as my glory years as a man. 

Why This Time Period Was So Good for Me:

  • I was in the best shape of my life, somewhat lean with a fair amount of muscle from weight training and a better approach to my diet.
  • I started making some decent money.
  • I spent considerable money on going out, traveling to exciting locations and having fun.
  • I cared how I looked and dressed about as well as I could afford almost all the time and spent money getting my hair cut by a stylist.
  • I prioritized my happiness by making plans, organizing gatherings and tracking my results. 
  • I looked for any and all opportunities to go where the action was every weekend. I partied hard and was not afraid to stay up late.
  • My friends and I were mostly like minded in our desire for fun and adventure.
  • I approached women as often as I could and sometimes in a bold manner.
  • I pushed for physical relationships with women and enjoyed success hooking up with some incredibly beautiful women and many women cute enough at the time for no-strings-attached man/woman fun.  I did not let logistical issues get in the way.
meolderpicsMe, back in my glory years

My Past Thinking Caught Up With Me

Even though I was fully enjoying this wildly satisfying bachelor lifestyle, I still had the issues I had as a younger man clouding this great time in my life. There was this past thinking of lack and confusion clouding my judgement and I didn't realize that I had it made, at least compared to where I was before.

I did not fully embrace the concept of "Live Like You Matter."

I felt guilty buying "things" or experiences that would have made life far better even when I had plenty of money available. 

I continued to do things "they" said I should do rather than trusting myself and observing the evidence. 

I seriously overdid the extent of weight training and cardio.  Usually I was either extremely sore, nursing an injury, rundown, getting sick or suffering with a severe lack of energy.

I felt bad about hooking up with women for no-strings attached man-woman fun even when the women loved doing this as much as I did.

How to Start to Live Like You Matter

I often think back to this special time of my life and realize that just as I was starting to live like I mattered and leading my own life in my own terms and doing the things I loved to do... I stopped. 

I fell back into the normal way of thinking, i.e. I did not matter and others mattered more. 

I got married and basically slid off a cliff into an extremely lack-filled, stressful, anxiety laden and mediocre life.  I worked extremely long hours at an extremely stress filled job to make more money to try to stay ahead of the enormous bills my wife racked up with her desires. No matter what I did, it was never enough.  I never did anything I wanted to do.

This time period ended in extreme misery as my wife verbally abused me for years until I developed enough courage to leave my wife.  But even after I left her, I did not really fully embrace the concept of - "Live Like You Matter" until many years later.

Video of Reflecting on the Past

With the passage of years I have analyzed the mistakes of my youth and offer you some simple ideas on how you as a man could fully enjoy your life, now and moving forward.

Buy Things for Comfort and Enjoyment

Money does buy happiness.  Spending the money you earn to make your life better should be your priority.  An overemphasis on saving for the future you when your present life sucks because of lack is a recipe for a horrible uncomfortable and unsatisfying life now.

Even worse is using your money to try to satisfy the enormous wants of other people, especially girlfriends and wives.

When you start making some money, spend it wisely buying things that will make your life much better now and for years to come.

  • A great mattress.  You need to sleep well to be ready to make money, work out hard and have wild adventures.  You may need to sleep for 10 to 12 hours after a wild weekend.  I rarely slept well, even when I was exhausted and needed more rest.  The mattress I had was rock hard and forced me to get up even when I needed more sleep.
  • Sheets, pillows and bedding to go with it.  All these contribute to the comfort and sleep-ability.
  • Comfortable furniture...couch and that that time you spend at home is spent in total comfort and ease recharging from a challenging job, intense workouts and fun-filled adventures.
  • Nice furnishings so you can just enjoy being at home.  I didn't really like being home at this time.  It was boring and uncomfortable.  I had no desire to just be home.
  • Buy a suitable car.  For many men this would be a truck
  • Buy stylish but still comfortable shoes, boots and clothes.
  • Travel adventures.

Correct Your Thinking with Health & Fitness

When it comes to your health and fitness, put the emphasis on the evidence in your own life rather than what you learn from others.  The men with the best physiques got that way from pharmaceutical help.  You need to decide for yourself if this is worth it for you.  I'd say no, but this is your life.  Assuming you avoid drugs as a way to develop your body, you need to have realistic expectations.  You can't compare your non-drug enhanced body to men who take drugs.

Some common sense live like you matter ideas that seem to work for most men:

  • Eat mostly meat and stop eating so many carbohydrates and drinking so much high carb beer.  The less carbs you eat, the easier it is to keep a flat belly. 
  • Weight train more intelligently.  I weight trained through injuries, making injuries worse and suffering in pain.  Avoid wasting time with excessive and exhausting warm-ups and stretching.  Learn proper techniques and use a reasonable amount of volume instead of excessive volume.  Excessive time and energy exercising can deplete your energy and cause you to get rundown and sick.
  • Minimize the extent of cardio to avoid depleting my energy.  I was always kind of whipped and tired from too much cardio.  You might think of it as getting in cardio shape a few times a year to coincide with a reason to be in better shape.  Normal life doesn't require you to be in cardio shape.
  • Get out in the sun more frequently.

Simple Way to Get Better with Women - Become Sexier

  • Men who do well with women and have a more satisfying life overall are just sexier than other men.

  • It is not about being more alpha or less beta.  Or even about being more masculine or more handsome or ripped.  Desirable characterisitcs like being alpha, masculine, handsome or jacked are just sexier outcomes.

  • It's just about becoming sexier.  When I was doing well with women during my glory years I was far sexier than I was as a younger guy.

  • Here are some simple things you can do to improve your sexiness.
    • Grow your facial hair.
    • Improve your face.  Wear contacts, not glasses.
    • Groom yourself better.  No huge, unruly beards.  Nice hairstyles.  Body hair managed.  Nails trimmed.  Clean.  Smell good.
    • Wear stylish clothes.
    • Wear cool accessories.  Watches, bracelets, rings, necklaces.
    • Don't go overboard with the current fad of excessive tattoos and piercings.
    • Take some dancing lessons.
    • Get in the sun for some color.
    • Look strong and develop muscles with masculine weight training.
    • Speak slower and deeper.

    There are a variety of sources for you to learn from to improve your dating life.  Search them out.  Some of my favorites are Zan Perrion, Adam Gilad and Brent Smith. 

    But when you drill down deep enough into their material, it is just ways to become sexier.

    Be More Bold

    • Maximize the amount of money available for your fun.
    • Go out alone in addition to with friends.
    • Ask your friends and acquaintances for real time advice with some of the obvious success they were experiencing right in front of me.  Like how to dress better, what type of cologne to wear, what were some things to say to girls when they approached, how they kept their relationships going.  This inability to look for good advice in the moment was a real hindrance on my development.  The internet that helped me break out of my shell and search for answers and guidance. 
    • Get used to being naked and more comfortable in your own skin.  Sleep, sun and swim naked if you can without getting in trouble.

    Think and Live Like You Matter

    • Make your preferences known.  This is huge, don't hide what you want.
    • Speak up.  This just works to get you out of your comfort zone.
    • Don't deal with people you don't want to deal with.  I did not think I mattered when I stayed with a verbally abusive wife for years until I did decide my life mattered and I left her.
    • Do things that make you feel better about yourself.  Often, just little improvements compound over time.  I like to go out and have people wait on me - meals, coffee, drinks and deserts.  It makes you feel special.
    • Search out and curate information specific to your needs.  This is not easy because the forces in control want us to do what they want us to do. 
    • Have some patience.  Since I was experiencing a lot of success compared to my earlier life, I expected things to always go up and would get upset if they didn't.  I would get hurt weight training by going at it too hard.  I would be disappointed if I did not meet a lady every time I went out.  I would look at my paycheck and be irritated with all the deductions for the various savings and investments I was contributing to.  I would even get mad at the weather.

    Wrap Up on How to Live Like You Matter

    Happiness is your natural state.  If you're not happy, something is wrong.  Actively do things that make you happy and stop doing things that are in conflict with your happiness.

    Change your destructive thinking patterns and actively do whatever it takes to create your life to your liking.  Live like you matter. 

    › Live Like You Matter

    The only way I could become the happier man I am today was by leaving my wife.  You might be in the same situation I was in.  I suggest you take a look at my book - Leave Your Wife & Become a Happier Man with the 3 Step System.

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