Ideal Life for Men

I had nearly the ideal life for men back in 1992.  It was ideal for me looking back at it now.  I did not realize it then, even though I knew I was having a great time.

If I could just get back to that type of life now I would be ecstatic.

But most of what I was doing is going to be quite difficult to get to due to the passage of time and my age, weight, past issues and massive mistakes.

But that is not going to stop me from moving toward some of those good things of my youth. I said difficult, not impossible.

You can certainly move toward what ever good thing you want with persistent thought and effort toward it.

Ideal Life For Men - Background Story on
What I Was Doing in 1992

My body

  • Lifting weights intensely 3 times a week, sometimes more
  • Taking some long walks
  • Walking a half mile to and from work each day due to parking
  • Doing a little cardio at the gym after weight training such as the bike or treadmill
  • My weight varied between 208 to 225 pounds
  • I was muscular, lean and my belly was flat
  • I had all my hair

But I was still self conscious about my body even though I was in the best shape of my life.  So I did not spend a lot of time in the sun with my shirt off.  I did not have a good tan.

This was still a time when the experts were pushing carbohydrates as the "correct" food so I never got quite as lean as I wanted and I could not figure out why.  I ate a lot of good carbs all the time and a lot of bad carbs too.

Looking back, I wish I had felt better about myself.  I was very fit compared to most people.  I should have been drinking light beer and avoided some of the excess carbs in my meals and just upped the protein.

I also kept a clean shaved face all the time, mistakenly believing that this was a good look.

Me in 1992. Nice and lean, full head of hair, enjoying a cold one at a baseball game. I was living an ideal life for men in those days

Weekend Entertainment

I went out almost every Friday and Saturday night drinking with friends. We partied hard, having a good time.  Sometimes I went out on Thursday nights.  But I never went out alone.  I was still afraid of what other's might think and did not have the confidence to talk to strangers without my friends around. 

I drank a lot of beer, usually getting fairly drunk, loose and wild by the end of the night.  Although sometimes no matter how much I drank I could not have fun.

I went out with high school friends, college friends and work friends. I was always willing to party.  Even going out on work nights occasionally.

I kissed and made out with quite a few girls even having some no-strings-attached one night stands.  Some of the girls were extremely sexy and gorgeous.

By the end of the summer I was going out with 2 different girls on a regular basis.  I was still meeting up with friends for weekend parties, working 40 hours a week and working out hard.

I was exhausted.  But I was having too much fun to stop.

I Traveled

  • New Orleans for Mardi Gras
  • Los Angeles and San Francisco
  • All over my home state visiting friends and family

Living Conditions

I was driving a newer Honda Accord.

I had a nice one bedroom apartment in a big City.  It was conveniently located off the freeway and not that far from work and the gym.  It had plenty of space, storage, a good layout, air conditioning and was quiet.

I was well organized and had minimal stuff.  I lived a simple and easy ideal for men life for the most part.  The only stress I had was trying to keep up the pace of all the fun.  Looking back, I should have just backed off some of the time and did more relaxing and resting.

Some Other Thoughts on the Ideal Life for Men

From Blackdragon

Rules of Alpha Male 2.0 Summarized

From Bold & Determined

The Beauty of Simplicity

Money

  • Good income for a single man as an engineer
  • Only debt was for the Honda loan.  My student loans were paid off as well as credit cards.
  • I was making extra payments on the Honda loan and ended up paying it off years before it was due
  • I was putting money away in savings accounts, stocks, bonds, CD's and mutual funds
  • My job had a good pension
  • I also was putting money into the deferred compensation plan at work

Job

  • Civil engineer working for a large city
  • Worked 40 hours a week
  • Holiday pay.  Vacation time. Sick Leave
  • 8 am to 4:45 pm work day.  45 minute lunch.  2 paid breaks
  • Inexpensive coffee
  • Worked with some interesting, fun people to chat with
  • Some of the guys I got along very well with and we would go out on the town together
  • Some of the work was interesting
  • Much of it was boring
  • Required to live in the City
  • Very strict rules about time.  No flexibility
  • Some of the management staff were extreme jags
  • Very unprofessional atmosphere
  • Very low self-esteem work environment.  Everyone had the attitude of being "just a City worker."  I felt very uninspired.

In spite of the drawback so the job, my money, the fun and my body all made this year an almost ideal life for men year for me.

I thought I would keep on having a great life like this, but I was seriously wrong as I gave up this ideal for men life almost as soon as I had it and within less than 2 years I was married, had a bought an old (meaning expensive to fix) house, had a baby, stopped lifting and started getting into massive debt. 

What I like about my life now more than in 1992
Or Why I am living an Almost Ideal Life For Men Now

My Truck

My truck, instead of the Honda. I absolutely love everything about my truck.  It's so comfortable, beautiful, safe and inspiring.

Where I live

My current apartment might be the best place I've ever lived and I've lived in a lot of nice places (and some dumps). This place has a great layout, plenty of storage, is quiet, private, a garage, plenty of extra parking and a pool.  It's location is perfect for this time in my life.  I have comfortable furniture and everything set up for my comfort and happiness.

How I Make My Living

My current position is a high quality of life job.  It does not have any of the boredom that I experienced back in 1992 and I have incredible flexibility with a great professional atmosphere.  I am contemplating other options, but for now it's great.

My Kids

They are doing very well in spite of the trauma of living with and dealing with a mentally ill mother.  They both have successfully been able to minimize their exposure to her for the last 7 years.  Not living with her and not having to deal with her very much was the key.

I am quite sure they will continue to live happy, productive lives and be prosperous without needing a lot of help from me.

My Stuff 

I love my high speed internet, computer (although I think my laptop is on the way out), I-phone, high definition TV and cable.

I have a comfortable bed, big recliner, couch and just the right amount of other home stuff all set up for my convenience and an ideal for men lifestyle.

My Body

Even though I am much fatter.  I am happy with how I am.  Some of the things I am much better than before.  I am a little stronger in some lifts.  I have bigger muscles.  I am much more tan and not ashamed to take my shirt off and sit around in the sun.  I like how I look with facial hair and am not ashamed of being bald.  I trim my body hair.

My Self Esteem

I am much more confident.  I speak up at work and have given many public presentations.  I go out alone and love meeting people and starting conversations. 

I feel great spending money on myself.

I feel no need to be a part of a couple.  I did not like being married.  Of course being married to a verbally abusive women did not help.

Most men will find that it is impossible to create an ideal life for men when they are in anything more than a casual relationship.

Closing Thoughts About an Ideal Life for Men

Many men get caught up in the societal push to couple up, sacrifice for others, man up for stupid reasons and spend most of their money on other people.

Most find that being part of a couple or married limits your freedom, happiness and wealth.  Some find that being with the wrong woman will ruin your life.

Sacrificing yourself and "manning" up are just someone else using coercion and guilt to get you to do their bidding.

Forget doing what someone else says you "ought" to be doing. Spend plenty of time thinking about how you want to create your ideal life for men and set about doing it. 

Go into relationships slowly and be ready to get out quickly.

It is your life, you need to spend plenty of time thinking about how you want to live it and then plenty of action in the actual creating an ideal life for men.

› › Ideal Life For Men

The only way I could become the happier man I am today was by leaving my wife.  You might be in the same situation I was in.  I suggest you take a look at my book - Leave Your Wife & Become a Happier Man with the 3 Step System.

Click to go to learn more about the book

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